tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2176683344161843882024-03-05T05:13:25.762+01:00Better than shoes...A shoe fan's quest for the best things in life!Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.comBlogger260125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-885954108946405112022-02-22T14:10:00.002+01:002022-02-22T14:10:51.185+01:00after the storm<p>I have always hated storms… I say “hated” when “scared effin’ s***less of” would be a far more accurate and certainly more honest nomenclature, but then again I’m a grown @ss woman and still cannot admit that meteorological phenomena scare the bejesus out of me… go figure… meh… what can ya do?.. So yeah, always “hated” them and waited anxiously so that they pass, so that nature calms down and I don’t feel so small and insignificant and powerless in front of the Great Mother’s wrath anymore (kinda bringing up some teeny weeny mother issues I may or may not have been dealing with…) </p><p>And when storm Eunice hit us last week… well… it was no fun… no fun at all! And I’m not going to go into details because these have no place in a blog about positivity and kindness and joy of life… they were the exact opposite of those things… kid you not! But, as it happens in life, literally and metaphorically, storms do tend to pass. The fear, the noise, the drama, the danger, the anguish, all of it subsides and calmness replaces the panic… sooner or later… and then comes this overwhelming feeling of relief! This “I’m still here, bitches!” realisation, when you feel all over your body and nothing is broken and Elton John starts singing “I’m still standing” inside your head until you grab your phone and play the actual song, dancing barefoot on the living room rug while your cat looks at you with what dangerously seems like disdain… or you know… something along these lines…</p><p>You know what I mean, right? Storms come and they pass. It’s the law of nature. And yes, sometimes they have you reaching for Xanax (I’ve seen in a movie…) and it feels like you’ve lost some years off your life until the sun shines again but… in the end, you are still here! You’ve made it! You have prevailed! That special moment right after the storm, when you feel so strong and confident and so blessed to have survived and all the bad feelings just fly away out of your system, that moment is “better than shoes”! And it is almost as guaranteed as the storm which is pretty much totes guaranteed because, well, life… just, for good measure, avoid the Caribbean during hurricane season…</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-71954679616494466282022-02-13T15:46:00.001+01:002022-02-13T20:15:21.941+01:00saturday morning coffee <p>Right. So, despite the fact that I still have to work for a living, I have adopted the lifestyle of a senior citizen. I wake up between 5:30 and 6:00 (and I start working right away, sweater over pyjamas, high bun and all… I make an effort, you see…), I almost never eat after 17:00 because, ahem, indigestion, and I go to bed at 20:00 with a camomile tea, ready to fall asleep about an hour later and wake up the next day and do it all over again. Granted, two to three times a week I also walk 10-14k that I’m guessing would be a tad too much if I were 78 instead of 48 years old… perhaps… and I don’t say “in my time…” very often, only every now and then… but otherwise, totes senior citizen!</p><p>And while this lifestyle may sound boring to death, it actually works for me and I’m passed that phase in my life that I actually gave a s**t about whether others approve of my choices… unless they pay my bills, I pay them bitches no mind (as Ru Paul’s mom always said). True that!! Now… what was I saying?…Yes. Senior citizen lifestyle. Not only it works but it also offers me some great pleasures! Like my Saturday (very early indeed…) mornings. I’ll explain and you’ll see.</p><p>I recently started drinking coffee again, hadn’t done it in over a decade. And I really like it! But as I don’t need it to function, like, to get my brain to work, a cappuccino for me is part of my relaxation routine, either on weekend mornings or when I’m out with a friend and we slowly sip and chat. Saturday morning is the best because it is when I first manage to unwind from the working week. So I’m back to loving coffee. Also, I love watching “The Graham Norton Show”! I know! Who doesn’t?? Best guests, best interviews, best fun! But obviously I cannot watch it live on the BBC every Friday night because it airs almost when I’m about to wake up! So I record it. And when I wake up a few hours later on Saturday morning, there it is, all ready waiting for me! I get up, put some lactose free milk for Lucifer (otherwise he will attack the airoccino the little glutton…) and make my really large cappuccino, sprinkled with cinnamon and accompanied by a piece of cake or almond roles. I take everything back to bed, put on Graham and enjoy my coffee with Luci lying next to me on the bed, both purring with delight… ahhhh… honestly, even the crappiest of weeks feel much better when they end up on such a Saturday morning! “Better the shoes” without a doubt!! </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-24541847694345831352022-01-28T13:04:00.000+01:002022-01-28T13:08:19.491+01:00a long walk…<p>During these past two years, or maybe a little longer, I came close to losing my mind quite a few times… I’m sure you all can relate to that, we all have been fighting with everything we’ve got not to go completely bananas… fear, anxiety, loneliness, loss, despair, boredom and pressure at the same time… personally, I managed to keep my marbles (or most of them…) thanks to my cat and the long walks I have been taking around the city. Now, of course I have talked about Lucifer being the true light bearer in my life (and I’m not done talking… just so you know…) so let’s talk “walking” today 😊</p><p>I started walking more or less when the madness started, little by little after I had stopped for many years… various reasons for that really… I mean I would walk around at work or on holidays for tourism and for shopping and stuff, but not to really “walk”, you know? Merely for the pleasure of just walking, I mean. But when we found ourselves stuck at home, with the city practically a ghost town, with no shops or cafés open and being totally afraid to be around people who could carry “the virus”, walking around the city on my own became the only thing that would keep me sane! The cold, fresh air would help me clear my head from work stuff (working from home was very hard for me in the beginning), give me time to think on personal matters and would keep me moving a bit so that I don’t just crash on the sofa like a sack of very, very sad potatoes. And it was so good, I became addicted to it! I would go out for a walk even at 6am or with subzero temperatures! </p><p>And then, it got better! I started meeting up with my best friends for a “walk n’ chat”! I think my excitement was contagious (not unlike “the virus”). Weekdays usually with S, after we finished our work, and on the weekends with M! And life had a meaning again, I was socialising! And we would just spend two, three hours walking and talking, pouring our hearts out, curse and laugh and be ridiculous or miserable, but being together! I discovered the city I live in for such a very long time and, truthfully, I didn’t know! And the thing is, it’s beautiful! In every season! And yes, my feet do hurt after a 14 km walk, a distance that’s not unusual, because in my mind I’m a 26yo but my body… is 22 years older! But hey, who cares? My heart is full of joy! I rest for a day and then I’m back on my feet, literally! And when these lovely walks can be combined with a cup of coffee somewhere or a nice lunch with my dear friends, oh, I’m in heaven! I need nothing more, really! </p><p>So, walking around: better than shoes? Absolutely! But… do wear proper footwear, ok? 😉</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-62518570907182840172022-01-01T10:44:00.001+01:002022-01-01T10:47:34.159+01:00hope…<p>I have been silent for almost 6 months… I know… it’s not been because of lack of good things to share, no, not at all! I guess… it’s because I got selfish… and lazy… I kept all the goodness just for myself and I hope you can see it in your heart to not hold it against me, to let it go, to understand my need to just enjoy and smile and not share… to fill up my heart with it… I guess I sorely needed it…to feel whole again!… But, here I am now, at the beginning of a new year, to praise all the “better than shoes” things that happened to me in the past 6 months and to start fresh with the promise to not be selfish anymore, to share with you all that that puts a smile on my face and warms my heart!</p><p>It has been half a year full of wonders! No, I’m not delusional, I am fully aware of the manure we are all in overall but… how else would I describe things like… having a G&T and sushi on a terrace with my best friends? … seeing the most beautiful roses bloom?… discovering new corners in this city I live for so long that I never knew before?…having my little cat curled up next to me on the sofa, licking my hand while I caress him?… finally being able to travel back home and see my brother and my cousin and my niece after years?… swimming in the Aegean and eating proper Greek food again?… not getting sick, at a time when sickness surrounds us?… laughing out loud with my friends?… having a drink and a chat with the lovely ladies I work with after more than a year?… going back to a theatre to see the incredibly talented Iliza Schlesinger perform, an evening that reminded me of how much comedy means in our life?… having Christmas lunches (yes, there were two, Boxing Day counts as Christmas here you see…) with my closest friends, my family, and actually managing to make aubergine spread the traditional way?… yes, it was delicious and so was the pork cooked in red wine, thank you very much! And I served everything on my late mother’s porcelain plates, my inheritance! How else would I describe all this if not as wonders??… I mean, wouldn’t I be ungrateful not to acknowledge them as such?</p><p>Yes, half a year full of wonders and here we are today, the first day of a new year… we don’t know what the year has in place for us, we never know the future. But, today of all days, we can be hopeful! We can dream, we can plan, we can wish, we can imagine, we can make resolutions… yes, most of them don’t last passed the first Monday of January but still, we can let our heart fill up with hope! And hope is better than shoes! It keeps us going even when everything else fails, even when it all looks grim, hope pulls us up from our bootstraps and gives us a kick in the butt to keep going! So, if I were to wish something to all of us today for this new year that has just started, it would be to be hopeful! </p><p>Happy 2022 everyone! 🍾🥂</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-58875942082473571052021-06-12T05:37:00.000+02:002021-06-12T05:37:46.593+02:00pride month <p>Disclaimer (or something...): I apologise beforehand to all my friends (and not yet friends...) of the LGBTQ+ community for the potentially wrong terminology used in the following. My heart is in the right place, my intentions are noble and I’m still learning. Thank you.</p><p>I love pride month! Although sexuality for me has been a pretty straightforward matter (I’m straight and knew I was since I fell in love with Patrick Duffy at the age of 6), for as long as I can remember I have been sensitive about it in the sense that I understood that this is not the case for many people. That for some it’s complicated but that does not mean it’s wrong. That “the different” exists and that’s ok. I knew there was something special about my sweet uncle T at times that him being gay was not even hinted. May he rest in peace, he only lived (happily I hope) with a man during the last few years of his life. As I was growing older, at uni, I formed lovely friendships with beautiful people that happened also to be gay. Until I met my closest friend S here, a compatriot in this foreign country I live in for more that two decades, a wonderful man who also happens to be gay.</p><p>And he’s not the only one. The people in my life with the longest relationships (and I mean, really long!) are in the majority gay! I guess that says something for us straight people, no? Or maybe not... I should not generalise... I mean, love is love and that’s that! Nobody else’s business unless it means to be happy for them! </p><p>So, with so many really close friends who are gay, I learnt about pride month many years ago. And it did resonate with me that pride month is also the month of my birthday! I mean, June is my favourite month for so many reasons!... Birthday cake and wishes, peonies, strawberries, long days... and proud, colourful love! Once I remember dancing around with gay strangers in the streets of Antwerp, when I was caught in the middle of the parade there, and I could not be happier! I like to wear the “rainbow” as a sign of my support to the community’s claim for justice, equality and visibility because it is a fair claim and long overdue! And I urge everyone to support it as well, even if (or especially if...) it does not touch you personally. We should not live in a society that restricts its members’ right to love! </p><p>So, go out and celebrate pride month, show your support, it only means more love around for everyone! Who doesn’t want that?! It’s “better than shoes”! Happy pride month! 🌈</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-45645896668536358772021-05-31T23:13:00.004+02:002021-05-31T23:13:48.324+02:00the perfect weekend!<p>What a weekend I had! I mean, it’s Monday night and I’m still smiling under the influence*! </p><p>The weather finally warmed up, the sun was shining brightly, nature is in springtime without any doubt and my mood could not be better! It started already on Friday, with a nice afternoon walk in one of the parks close to my house with my dear friend S! Just to put us in the weekend spirit which it did marvellously! And as we were walking, the idea popped up to walk to a nearby town and have lunch there on Saturday, together with his husband, the three of us! And the next morning, laundry left for latter (duhhhh...), we met and walked and chatted and even if we did not make it to that town (turns out, we could walk there but coming back by foot was a bit... challenging), we had the most lovely lunch at the cafeteria of a modern art museum, situated in a gorgeous park! The museum is closed (cue COVID...) but the park, the views, the food, the weather, the company above all, it was all perfect! And on the way home, I treated myself to some ice cream (ok, just sorbet, but still).</p><p>And then on Sunday I met with my other closest friend M! She came over to see Luci and then we went for a walk, again in the parks, and when we got tired, we came back to my place. I made us some G&Ts and a “midnight pasta” (google it, it’s worth your while) which by the way is excellent for any other hour of the day and we finished our meal with some strawberries with whipped cream (a delicious vegan version of it actually, perfect for my... bad relations with lactose) and a nice chilled late harvest I had in the fridge! Could it get any better than that? Yes! Because after M left, I took a heavenly nap on the sofa, cuddled by my weighted blanket, a recent acquisition that actually works wonders against my anxieties and stress! </p><p>And to top it all up, last Friday the last episodes of season 5 of “Lucifer” dropped on Netflix! You see?? I mean, if that’s not a great weekend, I don’t know what is! I feel so grateful, my batteries are charged, I’m relaxed and ready to face this week that’s... well... a tad tricky. But after this weekend, this “better than shoes” weekend, I’m cool! I’m good to go! And I’m looking forward to the next one! Oh! I’m even going to the hairdresser! Niiiiiice! What more can I ask for? </p><p>*and the influence was helped also by the fact that, today, I spent a couple of hours at S’s garden after work... I’m a lucky woman! </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-18677841430334027572021-05-29T04:15:00.004+02:002021-05-29T04:15:59.014+02:00“FRIENDS”<p>Last night I watched the special, reunion episode of “FRIENDS”... I had been reading about for, well, forever... and although in the beginning I was sort of nonchalant about it, as the time passed I became more and more interested... and when a few days ago my bestie M (my adopted “little sister”), who knows me very well, texted me that it would be on TV last night, I made sure I remember to watch. I mean, I interrupted my “Lucifer” recap for it, that I was doing in preparation to watch the new episodes that came out yesterday! I was THAT interested! </p><p>And I watched. And I liked it more than I had thought I would. It was nostalgic and sweet and, oh, so funny! And not cheesy, no! Rather down to earth, real. Now, let’s get a few things straight about “FRIENDS”: is it the best sitcom ever? No. That’s “Seinfeld”. End of discussion. Has it aged well?... I mean, yeah, some of the jokes we now know that were not the most appropriate ones but, hey, now we are woke, back then we were not. And it’s a good thing we are and we can identify these things. But that’s it. For the most of it, personally I’m not offended. I’m too busy laughing! I mean... Chandler flipping the lid of the dish washing liquid open to be ready to fire against Joey’s stalker knocking on the door... priceless scene! Pure comedy gold! I’ve watched it like 43 times and it still cracks me up!</p><p>So, not the best sitcom, not the most politically correct. But, blimey, it sure is an iconic one! I’m a bit younger than the cast (only a bit) but if I could pick one TV series I can say “I grew up with”, than this is the one. No, I did not exactly grow up with it, I was in my early twenties when it aired, but it feels like I “grew up” with it, like I became an adult with it! And, to me, watching it is like eating pasta! Comforting! Reassuring! Delicious! When I’m sad, when I’m overwhelmed, when the world feels too much, it’s my go-to thing to watch. And it lifts me up every time! It’s the first thing Luci and I watched together. It’s the one series I never watched with a boyfriend! Word! It’s all mine! And my friends’! And no matter how I see it, it’s “better than shoes” and it will always be for me. And... we will never be on a break. </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-60442786912403503132021-05-08T22:28:00.003+02:002021-05-29T04:19:20.830+02:00scent of an era...<p>I have been feeling a bit low lately... sad things have happened, not enough happy things have happened and I seemed to have misplaced my usual optimism... probably due to the wardrobe/storage room spring cleaning, who knows... poor Luci was running around frantically, could not understand why all my coats and jackets were piled up on my bed for a whole morning! So, anyway, I was not at my best. My go-to solution would normally be a new pair of shoes but I was not falling in love with any... and then it hit me: I needed a new perfume! A new scent to mark the beginning of spring and guide me to my rebirth... or lead me to it by my nose...</p><p>I have always loved fragrances! Since I was a child, I thought having a bottle of perfume was the ultimate luxury and I still remember my first one! It was a Christmas present when I was 17, “Paris” by YSL, and admittedly... I can’t stand it now! Rose is certainly not my thing nowadays... but at the time, I felt sooooo grown up, so pampered and special when I was wearing it! Since then, even at times when my pockets were dangerously empty like when I was at uni, I would strive to have a bottle of perfume, even if I only wore it on special occasions. And over the years I have tried many scents and I have truly fallen in love with some of them that I wore for years! </p><p>But nothing like this last one! I ordered it having only tried it from a tiny sample but even so, I knew I was going to love it! Though... I did not know I was going to adore it! And I really do! “So... which is it?”, you would ask... and how could I not share?! It’s “Un jardin sur la lagune” by Hermès! It is the most addictive perfume I have ever smelled, it is mysterious and simple, fresh and complex, light and lasting, hopeful and happy and unforgettable, it is a scent I cannot describe exactly, certainly not roses, but one that has enchanted me! It’s like a story, an experience... a warm feeling long gone, the memory of which lives on... I can’t have enough of it! I mean, I wear it at home even when in sweatpants! And, honestly, I can’t wait to wear it out in the open, having a drink with my friends on a terrace on a warm spring evening! Things start to look up, my friends, I am being cautiously optimistic about this nightmare of the last year (and a half...) coming to an end, and I feel I have chosen the right scent to mark the new era that is about to start! “Better than shoes”?... yep! </p><p>Ps. Perfumes are a veeeeeeeery personal thing and in case you try this one and go “meh”, keep trying until you find the one that is your “better than shoes” scent... or not... who am I to tell you what to do?!... </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-63418020861187405192021-04-19T04:58:00.003+02:002021-05-08T22:33:13.781+02:00Englishman in New York <p> If I had to choose a song that describes my life better than any other, it would have to be Sting’s “Englishman in New York”.</p><p>It’s not even half 4 in the morning, I’m up, after a terrible night (or... part of a night), and I’m watching a YouTube video my brother sent me earlier... Sting, singing live, recently, this song that he knows I hold very dear to my heart. And how could I not?! It’s a gem! The soft, caressing music, the exquisite sounds of Bradford Marsalis, the simple yet always recognisable melody, the intensity of the drums there almost at the end, the singing voice, soft as velvet and unlike any other... and those lyrics... a simple poem about life itself... this song is just beautiful! I was 14 years old when I heard it for the first time and it made an impression like nothing ever had until then! Being different?! Not following the norm?! How preposterous!! But... how exciting at the same time! “Be yourself, no matter what they say” became my mantra. I was the only fan of Sting’s in my high school (except for my chemistry teacher, Mr M, lovely man!) and I got bullied a lot about my queer tastes... couldn’t care less! Even at that so very young age, I knew... I was going to go my own way, I was most probably going to be an alien my whole life (I felt I had been thus far already...), I was going to drink tea...</p><p>Years have passed... so many years... I have seen Sting singing this song live over again and I have sang it with him, I have listened to it alone more times than I can count, I have seen the music video (David Fincher, so you know...) so many times and every time I discover something new, I have spoken about it, joked about it, got misty eyed thinking about it... And, yes, for more than two decades, I too am a legal alien, I too drink tea and not coffee, I too have found myself walking alone down Fifth Avenue, thinking a walking cane would come in handy... and I too have always been myself no matter what they said. </p><p>It’s been a challenging few weeks, maybe you have guessed it, my silence is never a good thing... I’m not going to talk about it... I’m choosing to smile in the middle of the night and share with you this warm and fuzzy feeling “Englishman in New York” has always given me... a song that is definitely “better than shoes”, a song that will always be special to me! And I will always be myself, no matter what they say...</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-19265320144469963312021-03-03T05:10:00.001+01:002021-03-04T18:46:06.790+01:00do not disturb, I’m having a moment...<p>Middle of the night, woke up from a bad dream that had me clench my teeth to the point of getting a headache... clearly nothing “better than shoes” there... I’ve learned to live with headaches over more than a decade and although sometimes it can be quite debilitating, to say the least, tonight it’s not one of those times... it’s ok... But, I did wake up and after browsing a bit to pass the time, I got up to have some tea and feed my furry love who was getting anxious on the bedside table next to me... he’s still a baby and going 7 hours without food is kinda his limit... or so I think... not sure... could be I’m overprotective...</p><p>So we got up for breakfast, I had my tea and browny, he had his chicken breast in broth jelly (he’s a bit picky with his food... I don’t blame him... other “premium” brands of cat food we tried, stunk up the room...) and we came back to bed as per our usual routine. This is my favourite time of the day because it’s when we do our cuddling and our petting and we both fall asleep again after having showered each other with some good old TLC! Today was no exception... we had with us his little toy mouse, we just named him Max, and at some point while playing with Max who slipped under the duvet, I lifted it to find him and Luci, rather timidly I should add, crawled under it and... found heaven! He curled up next to me under the duvet and purred so loudly, I thought the neighbours were going to start banging on the wall! I don’t think I have ever seen him (or, more correctly, see a bump under the duvet shaped like him...) look so happy! </p><p>And here we are now... I’m writing this post while my headache is already so much better (the healing effect of happiness...) and he’s sleeping next to me under the bed covers... and I’m thinking that the title of this post is very appropriate for both of us! He’s having his moment and I’m certainly having mine! Feeling him so peaceful and trusting next to me is warming my heart! Over the last 7 months that we live together, I have learned that the love for (and of) an animal is one of the most precious things in life! Of course, being a “cat person”, I think they are the best but, I also see my friend M’s love for her little cocker spaniel and I must admit that that’s something too. At the end of the day, it does not matter whether you love cats or dogs or both or... I don’t know... cockatoos! What matters is to make the decision to have them in your life! I made the decision and it changed me forever! A “forever” built up by moments like this one... “better than shoes” moments! </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-35043916085603128122021-02-08T19:11:00.001+01:002021-02-10T18:31:24.820+01:00be my Valentine... <p>With Valentine’s Day approaching, I started pondering... see, the thing is, I’m 46 years old and I think I have actually “celebrated” the day with a paramour only 3 times in my life. With my first ever boyfriend, when I was 16. He was adorable, he was in love with me but I was long before in love with another boy... so, it only lasted a couple of weeks, I broke his heart because I did not want to pretend, he deserved better. Then, when I was at uni, with my then boyfriend who surprised me with a single red rose he brought me saying “I know we are not a conventional couple but let me be conventional just for tonight”... endearing... he broke my heart as it turned out... And then, if I’m not mistaken, only once really in almost 11 years with my ex partner when he surprised me with a bouquet of red roses... he hated the day, like most holidays, he hated giving any gift that was only meant for the other person and he would not enjoy it too... I loved him and endured... stupidly... and I don’t miss that at all!</p><p>So, yeah, I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing... let’s see... yes, every holiday is “manufactured” and “serves commercial purposes” (as if everything else doesn’t) and yes, “if you are in love you should show it everyday not once a year” and blah blah blah... but honestly, I see nothing wrong in getting a card (preferably a funny one...) for the one you love or a bunch of flowers... c’mon... it’s just a gesture, it’s sweet, you don’t need to splurge, as is the case with any occasion, it’s the thought that counts! Make your special one feel special, show them you care... nothing wrong with that! Or just take the opportunity to tell the one you like that you like them! It’s ok! We are never too old for that! A couple of years ago, I got a ❤️ texted to me on Valentine’s Day and it put a smile on my face for the whole day! Ok, later it turned out I was not special at all and the guy had sent it to everyone he knew... that kinda hurt... retroactively... but still, I think that to let someone you like know you like them on 14.02 is not a lame move, it’s cute! And we don’t have nearly enough cute things in our lives! I’m all for cute! It keeps us young! </p><p>Yeah... so, is Valentine’s Day “better than shoes”?... mmmm... can be. Not as such, but it can be. And there’s nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong if you get no card, no flowers, nobody tells you they like you or you have nobody to kiss on February 14th. It’s all ok! Really! It says nothing of your real worth and it certainly is no reason to be depressed and/or go nuts about it on social media! Girl, please! I mean, it’s only a day... it can be special but if it’s not, it only lasts 24 hours like any other day and then it’s over... I guess, in the end, that’s the thing: it’s a day that can be special so you should hold on to it for as long as you like but if it’s not, just let it go and move on... Simple, no? Phewwww! I guess it’s clear to me now!</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-66704053849981647522021-02-03T04:42:00.001+01:002021-02-03T04:42:46.034+01:00two minutes of bliss...<p>Right... as it happens, I’m up in the middle of the night because of my stupid sciatica! Or should I say my stupid age... although technically my age is not stupid, it’s just old! Ok, old-er, I’m certainly not a WWII veteran... not even a Vietnam veteran! Anyhoo, so, my lower back hurts, my leg hurts and I’m up having a tea at this ungodly hour, Luci on the other side of the table is quietly digesting his “breakfast” and I’m thinking that I need to focus on something good! Pronto! </p><p>Did not take long to spot it... Good things to focus on are always available, either literally in front of us or in our memory palace, but the bad things have this silly effect on us, they blur our vision and we can’t look anywhere else... it takes a bit of training to be able to focus on the good while the bad is happening but, hey, if I can do it, anyone can! I’m not special! </p><p>So, here’s what I focused on: Yesterday, after I finished my work, I had lunch (or whatever you call it at 4pm...) and a cup of tea and then I curled up on the sofa under my blanket, ready for a well deserved nap. I had just paused “Modern Family” and dozed off when I heard a sweet meow, in sotto voce really, and the next moment Lucifer jumped on the sofa next to me. He licked my nose and made himself comfortable, laying down by my side while his little head rested on my pillow next to mine and his aquamarine blue eyes looked at me half closed... he put his paw on my cheek and fell asleep. I was... in heaven! The sweetness of the moment was almost unbearable, the beauty of this little creature expressing his love and trust in me, his surrender next to me and his... mirroring me (laying on the sofa like me with his head on the pillow like me...) was just so heartwarming I got misty eyed... ehhh... sometimes I’m such an emotional blob!</p><p>Of course... it only lasted two minutes. Luci is exactly like me, cuddles are awesome but not when we go to sleep. Then, we both need our space to breath, to move. Holding hands to the limit, but that’s it, neither of us likes to be smothered. With another meow, slightly irritated this time, he jumped out of the sofa and on to the ottoman, which he’s declared his property, to continue his sleep unimpeded. Oh well, it was “better than shoes” while it lasted... and, no kidding, thinking about now, it has even made my sciatica calm down! Well, what do you know! I may even go back to sleep! Hurray! </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-3809363092743297592021-01-25T18:47:00.003+01:002021-01-25T18:57:40.379+01:00keeping it simple...<p>I was watching a series. Yeah, yeah, no surprises there... nowadays, except for my long walks, my whole life basically happens within the limits of my home and a big part of it on the sofa in front of the TV... lockdown is in effect with a curfew even... but ok, my life was not much different before, I always loved getting lost in the stories told by films and series and living imaginary lives! It relaxes me more than a book (most of my work is reading and usually it’s the last thing I want to do in my free time... unless I’m on holidays, then I devour books!).</p><p>Anyway, I was watching this series where the following happened: man met woman, a few witty interactions took place, a few warm smiles were exchanged and then the man asked the woman to go out to dinner, saying “I like you. You are a beautiful woman and I would love to get to know you.” Just like that. No muss, no fuss. Simple. And honest. What we see in someone, their appearance, is what attracts us initially and when it is accompanied by some witty comments and a good smile, that’s usually what it takes to like someone enough to want to get to know them. Evidently, it may or may not develop to something more but the beginning does not need to be more complicated than that! I thought it was an irresistible line and if I were approached this way by someone, I would certainly give it go!</p><p>Surely, such an approach can, and should, be followed by a woman too! No reason why not! I can see my self saying something like that. Maybe not 10-15 years ago but certainly today! The point is not who says it. The point is that it is said, when it is felt, simply, honestly, without any games and hidden agendas and manipulation techniques. No. “I like you. I would like to get to know you. And see where that takes us”. I think, when it comes to personal relationships, things should be kept simple. After all, what more is a “relationship“ than two people, going towards the same direction and deciding to walk together, hand in hand, because the journey will be much more pleasant in good company! When it’s in its first stages, you just want to know which way the other person is going and that’s why you want to get to know them. And who knows what happens afterwards. But, yeah, keeping it simple like that in the beginning I think is incredibly attractive, for sure “better than shoes”!</p><p>Ps. The series may or may not have been “The Mentalist” and the line may or may not have been delivered by Pedro Pascal... comments making fun of me and my celebrity crushes will not be sensored 😉 </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-37435580483252799192021-01-17T05:20:00.008+01:002021-01-17T08:38:19.724+01:00be a giver, not a taker<p>I heard this somewhere, recently, I don’t remember where... I’ve reached an age that my brain is very selective with the information it retains and lots of it always has to do with shoes so, the rest is limited.</p><p>It got me thinking... yes, of course... be a giver, not a taker! Ok, we are all givers and takers at some point, I guess, but what it means is, be a person who enjoys offering to their fellow human being, offering support, assistance, love, care, compassion, advise and even material help, instead of being someone who just sticks around people, like a vulture, to take whatever they have to give (even when it’s not for giving it away... you know... things can be taken by force...). What it means is, learn to share, be generous, not stingy... with stuff, but most importantly with emotions, with gestures... </p><p>For starters, when you enjoy giving more than you enjoy taking, you depend only on yourself for your joy! You can feel it every time you give without having to wait, like a taker has, until someone comes around to take from! Takers need givers, I would think, whereas givers don’t need anyone! If nobody’s around, you can give to yourself! That’s right! You can say a good word and smile to yourself looking in a mirror! You are self sufficient, not a parasite... nobody likes parasites, only parasites themselves and even that’s debatable. So, points for independence! </p><p>Also, when you enjoy giving you can feel joy more often because, in the world we live in, there are so many people who actually need help and reaching out to give to them will always keep your heart filled with the warm, fuzzy feeling of happiness! Plus, you know what they say... “when you can’t take it anymore, start giving!”. Yeah... One of the few things that are guaranteed in life, is that there will be moments when you feel you can’t take it anymore... that you have become the punching bag of the universe and life itself sucks and nothing is good... in those moments, when you are at your lowest, choose to help someone else in need... I can promise you, it will feel like opening a window and letting the light come back in your dark room! And when you feel depleted, like you have nothing else to give, precisely because you are the person you are, you will recharge your batteries easily, you are indeed the one to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and rise again with a smile on your face!</p><p>So, yes... be a giver, not a taker, it’s “better than shoes”. But... make sure you know your limits. Because takers have none at all...</p><p>Ps. I hope the above makes sense... I’m writing it at 5 in the morning... Luci got hungry really early today and I’ve been watching “The Mentalist” until very late last night while he was sleeping next to me... 🥴</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-72069553372056850482021-01-09T06:22:00.000+01:002021-01-09T06:22:01.244+01:00a good day!<p>Yesterday, I had a good day! No, seriously, it is possible even during a lockdown due to a global pandemic, to have a good day! Kid you not!</p><p>We woke up around 5:15, as per our habit, Luci and I. We walked side by side down the corridor to the kitchen/living/dining room, an image that always makes me think of the Mandalorian walking next to Baby Yoda, and we had our breakfast: canned chicken breast in broth for Luci, half a brownie and an earl grey tea for me. Then, I went back to bed and my little furry guardian angel followed me a while later for our “morning love”... it’s when he lies next to me in bed and I caress him and kiss his head and he purrs happily and then he caresses me (yes, he actually caresses me with his paw!) and licks my nose until we both go back to sleep! Ahhhh... best part of my day!</p><p>Then, when I woke up (again) around 10am, as it was the last day of my, admittedly prolonged, end-of-the-year holiday, I decided to go for a walk. The sun had began to shine, it looked cold but I never mind that and the app reassured me it was not going to rain. So, I did. It was a lovely long walk! It cleared my head, as always, and allowed me to get lost in my happy thoughts, breathing the fresh air and giving my body a chance to stretch and move... perfect! I ended my walk making a detour and passing by the organic products’ supermarket to get some coriander hummus and baba ganoush and headed home, exhausted but full of joy!</p><p>Took a shower and had my lunch, next to Luci having his, enjoying a big bowl of shiitake and oyster mushroom soup, cooked with lots of thyme and served with a drizzle of truffle oil. Mmmm, delicious! And then I had a cup of ginger, lemon and honey tea and took my afternoon nap on the sofa, while watching “The Mentalist”, that I decided to watch again from the beginning because I had stopped it years ago and I wanted to see it through. Good series. It was Luci who woke me up about an hour later, jumping on the sofa next to me and meowing cheekily, asking for some more petting... I obliged of course! And the rest of the afternoon and evening passed in the same relaxed mode, watching quizzes on the BBC, browsing the web for new shoes, sipping more tea, texting with my friends.</p><p>A good day? Absolutely! Was it “better than shoes”? Yes! I decide, don’t I? Times are hard, my friends, life is complicated, weird s**t that we could never imaging are happening, so, yes, under the circumstances, a good day is better than shoes and may we all have many of those this year! </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-79625387529484221282021-01-04T23:51:00.003+01:002021-01-04T23:52:09.703+01:00it’s the simple things...<p>I got peckish... I had my famously delicious broccoli soup for lunch (no, not bragging... stating facts...) and I also had a big piece of amazing vasilópita (traditional New Year’s Day cake) made by my darling S and brought over for our New Year’s Day lunch (yes... a food orgy took place...) with my tea around 5 o’clock but... it’s after 11pm and although I was already in bed, I got up to make myself a cup of hot chocolate, spiked of course with a bit of Kahlua... Luci got very interested in this night venture, surprised to see me in the kitchen at this hour. And as I left with my cup of hot delight at hand, he followed me to the bedroom.</p><p>Soooo... here I am, organic hot chocolate made with lactose-free milk at hand (I choose organic and I’m lactose intolerant... there... I share everything with you), laying in bed, watching “Friends” on Netflix as per my habit while Monica and Chandler are getting married, all warm and cosy and comfy, with a fluffy white(ish) British shorthair kitten by my side who’s purring blissfully as I’m caressing his little head! I mean, it’s just perfect! He turns and looks at me with those huge eyes, normally silvery blue but almost black now in the dark, full of love and gratitude (ok, the gratitude bit may have something to do with half a tin of chicken meat I fed him a while ago) and I’m thinking “this is happiness”!</p><p>No, seriously, could this moment be any better? I don’t know... maybe... I guess if Luci was curled between Pedro Pascal and me and both were looking at me lovingly... (yeah... I have a crush on him and watching 16 episodes of “the Mandalorian” only to see his face three times did not sit well with me... just sayin’...) but... really... what I just lived cannot be improved too much... and I don’t even care about how it could be improved because, as it was, it was better than shoes! I have learnt in my life never to resent what I have for what I could be having... never suffered from fomo... and that is by choice. So, instead of thinking about how my moment could be improved, I choose to let my heart be filled with joy about what it was! </p><p>Lucifer is now fast asleep on the nightstand, looking like a little angel... and I’m smiling from ear to ear while I’m writing this...</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-49216655199552639772020-12-31T20:58:00.003+01:002020-12-31T21:01:50.600+01:00a pat in the back...<p>If you allow me a... small transgression, I would like to dedicate this post to me. I mean, I rarely find myself worthy of a post in this blog... life has given me, over the years, amazing things to write about, things far better than “yours truly”... but tonight, as this strange year ends, I would like to say a couple of things to myself. So, here goes:</p><p>“Dear self,</p><p>Looks like you made it to the end of 2020!! Ok, another couple of hours to go but, fingers crossed you will be (alive...) on the sofa come midnight... as if there’s a plethora of choices of places to be... let’s see...the sofa, the home office, the kitchen table, the bed, the loo... our 2020 tiny universe... But, so, yeah, you made it!</p><p>What if your health (both physical and mental) was tested quite a few times, you are still alive (and relatively sane...)! What if some dreams were shattered, you found new ones on the way! What if you experienced loss and death and deep sadness and loneliness like never before... you also laughed out loud many times!</p><p>Yeah, you made it, girl! You are here in one piece (a somewhat larger piece than this time last year, admittedly...), tougher, wiser, not just older... and you found pure love in the eyes of a little fur ball named Lucifer! Against all odds, you survived and not only: you lived! Because life is the good and the bad alike! So, be proud, be joyful and while you give you a pat in the back, make a wish that next year is a tad easier than this one... and brace yourself because, no matter what, here we go!!! No backsies, we are here for the long run, come rain or come shine!! </p><p>And... I promise to take better care of you next year... you deserve all my love!”</p><p>There. That’s it. That’s what I had to say to me and I thank you for your patience. Perhaps you would like to give you a pat in the back too?... just saying... Anyway, another year starts tonight, one that hopefully will be full of “better than shoes” things to write about. I give you my word that I will keep looking out for them and sharing them with you.</p><p>Happy New Year to everyone! 🍾🥂</p><p><br /></p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-59561200557435458652020-12-25T23:36:00.001+01:002020-12-25T23:36:36.117+01:00a very merry Christmas...<p>This year has been... different (let’s leave it to that...) and Christmas felt like it was cancelled due to the strict measures most European countries have enforced in order to contain the spreading of this bug that’s been going around, killing people and all... damned thing... Everybody was rather gloomy/angry/anxious about things having to be so out of the ordinary this year... so restricted... I guess mostly because people have missed their loved ones terribly and Christmas is the definitive time of the year to get together with them but... Covid!</p><p>Personally, I felt... well, the only thing that made me sad was not being able to be with my brother, first Christmas without our mom, especially because I thought it would be heavier on him. As for the rest, I have spent Christmas alone many times, the past two years also under rather grim conditions, so to be alone again this time of the year neither scared nor saddened me. Been there, done that. Besides, I now have Lucifer so I’m never alone! And then, a few weeks back, as I had already come to terms with this reality, my adopted big brother S and his partner K invited me to spend Christmas Day with them! Yes we would keep our distances, so our hugs and kisses had to be imaginary, but we would be together! I accepted the invitation right away and with the greatest joy!</p><p>And what a Christmas Day it has been! A six course meal for three arrived in a box, from a restaurant we really like (the chef of which is, incidentally, Greek) with all the instructions how to warm up and plate! And in the talented hands of my darling S it was transformed into an amazing culinary experience, perfectly presented, tasting deliciously! A bottle of pink champagne to start in a festive note, and accompany the savoury starter that S had prepared himself, and wonderful wines to continue with our meal, made it all exceptional! Even their gorgeous cat, G, who’s 12 days older than my Luci, behaved impeccably for a kitten! </p><p>Everything was perfect! And this will be a Christmas I will always remember! I was with family, having a great meal and a lovely conversation! Which, all things considered this year, was something to be grateful of! And I am! It was “better than shoes”! Plus, it was a great opportunity to wear my hot pink Balenciaga knife boots! I mean, I made an effort, people!... I can only hope and wish that you all had the best Christmas Day possible under the circumstances and that you are reading this with a smile on your face and a big, happy tummy! </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-20383783820800540092020-12-23T18:06:00.002+01:002020-12-23T18:07:24.110+01:00pyjamas...<p>Pyjamas got a bad reputation this year, I fear... they were associated with being stuck at home, in quarantine or while being in a bubble/social distancing. They became the trademark attire of 2020, not by choice but by necessity and, from being the symbol of “finally, I get to relax and not bother getting dressed” to the symbol of “crap... I’ve been in my pyjamas for four days now... help”! But, I’m here to set the record straight. Pyjamas are not the enemy, dear people, the damn virus is and that’s that. Pyjamas are “better than shoes”! And here’s why:</p><p>First point: we are f@cking lucky to be able to be at home, even stuck at home, in our pyjamas! They do symbolise our privilege in a world of inequality and suffering. Think about it. Warm and dry and fed and in front of a TV of wonderful series and films, under a blanket and, for the even luckier amongst us, in good company! But even if alone, still, pretty damn lucky! And yes, now it is the moment to think of everyone who’s not as lucky, who has no home and must sleep at a bench outside tonight! Think and help! So, stop whining and smile and be grateful! And helpful!</p><p>Second point: nothing stretches as well as a pyjama trousers! And, with Christmas and all, whether alone or in company, we must indulge! It’s tradition! We must overeat! Even if it’s just pizza we ordered in! (keep supporting your local restaurants, we want to go back to them when this is over!) So, going back to my first point, be grateful for your full tummy, help others be fed if you can, and tell your pyjama trousers “thank you” for managing to fit your ever increasing belly! Because your belly will increase and the time for a diet is after New Year’s Day and your faithful friend, the pyjama, will gracefully accommodate your misbehaving. Be thankful!</p><p>Third point: they are so amazingly comfy! Nothing like taking a shower (or bath, even better), putting on your clean pyjamas and crashing on the sofa in every weird position you can possibly stretch your imagination (and your limbs)! Yeah, yeah, I know, you have been living on your sofa for 9 months! Well, I have been doing it for more than a year, as fate had it, and yes, I would have loved to have traveled away from it but, screw this, I have a sofa! So, stop bitching about it, put on your comfy pyjamas, make yourself a cup of hot chocolate (a splash of Kahlua is a must if you are over 18... or 21... oh, you get it) and just relax! Watch a good film, let your worries fade away and think of better days that will surely come! Nothing lasts forever, dearies, both the good and the bad. And if now we are in the “bad”, it will soon be replaced by the “good”! Hang in there! Be hopeful! Be kind! Wear your pyjamas and have a lovely holiday!! 🎄</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-23250100285265351982020-12-03T20:50:00.000+01:002020-12-03T20:51:46.720+01:00my special Xmas tree<p>Those of you who have been reading this blog over the years know that setting up the Christmas tree is a big deal for me! I mean, you can’t have Christmas without a Christmas tree! And it has become my tradition to set it up early, so that I can enjoy it for the longest possible, and celebrate the event with a seasonally appropriate film (I have been known to watch “Love Actually” almost every year on “tree day”) and hot chocolate. You see, I’m an alien (I’m a legal alien... in the words of the mighty Sting) and since I left my home country, it has been these little new traditions that I have created that have given me a sense of home no matter where I am and no matter if I’m alone. </p><p>This year the tradition has not been followed... this is Luci’s first Christmas and since he is still a very curious and hyperactive kitten, compromises had to be made. So, I set up the tree this past Monday, thankfully right on time, while he was at the vet’s (yes, the time had come for him to part with his testicles... I mean, since he won’t be dating, ever, it’s only the right thing to do... otherwise it’s just cruel to leave him full of hormones and no girlfriend!) and I could open up boxes without him jumping in and making a complete mess! When he came home, all drowsy poor thing, it was all done... but there was no time for a Christmas movie, I just wanted to be with him and cuddle him and make sure he was alright. </p><p>And this year there are no glass ornaments on the tree. In fact all my usual ornaments stayed in the boxes... the internet wise people all advised against them and understandably so... nothing appealing about a glass bauble shattered on the floor after having been attacked by a kitten! And what if it were my favourite ones from Liberty’s?!... Disaster! No! Instead, this year, my tree is decorated with felt hearts and stars and angels and gnomes and letters for all the members of my extended family (yes, my friends are my family too) with of course a nice red “L” for the light of my life! This year my tree (more correctly, our tree, I have a housemate now...) is special! “Better than shoes” special! And it marks Lucifer’s arrival in my life! Because, no matter how s**tty this year has been, it has brought little Luci into my life! And for this I will always be grateful! </p><p>Ps. So far the tree is still standing... the little fur ball steals an ornament every now and then and I find it on the floor but after he brought me a heart in bed this morning, I’m willing to let it go... Ok, truth be told, I got all misty eyed when he jumped on the bed and left the red heart next to my face... ❤️</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-4952551222916014102020-11-29T05:57:00.001+01:002020-11-29T05:58:14.883+01:00anniversary...<p>Twenty years ago today, I arrived in the Netherlands... I was practically a kid, alone, all my belongings fitted in just two duffel bags but my hopes were larger than life! I wanted to be independent! I wanted to be accomplished and successful too but mostly, I wanted to be independent! To have a steady salary, to have a life in order, a life where the expression “we’ll see” would not have a place anymore, because, I would know whether something was possible or not right away. Growing up, this “we’ll see” and the insecurity that it entailed, had haunted my childhood... every time I wanted something, every time I asked for something, anything, the answer was usually that. Not “yes”, not “no”... just this limbo... which usually ended up in a “no” but the worst was the time it took to get me to the “no”. And I wanted, finally (and for good), to have a life without this painful anticipation.</p><p>I achieved that. In the twenty years that followed, I achieved much more. My belongings now cannot fit in two duffel bags... I mean the shoes alone can’t fit in my car...!! And I have a car. A mini car, but a car nonetheless. And I have travelled the world just like I wanted since I was a child, reading “The children of Captain Grant” again and again! I have seen incredible beauty, I have tasted deliciousness. I have made friends who are my family now. I have done work I can be proud of and I have passed my knowledge down to younger colleagues. I have fought for my rights. I have lost battles but I am still standing. I have loved. I have laughed. I have experienced great losses and I have not given up. And I have a cat! My darling Lucifer, the light of my life, who gives me so much love I never thought it would be possible! (he’s curled up next to me as I write this, purring in absolute contentment!)</p><p>Not too shabby, right? I mean, surely, other people have achieved much more and there is always Malala who is making each and everyone of us look like underachievers no matter what but, blimey, it surely isn’t bad for the 26-year-old girl, who came here alone with almost nothing and managed to build a life from scratch, all by herself! Has it always been “better than shoes”? The answer to that is a resounding “no”. There were times tough as nails. But what has been “better than shoes”, beyond any doubt, was my decision to come here. A decision I have not regretted not for a moment in these two decades! I have taken a chance and it has paid off. No matter what, I can say I made it on my own. It did not come cheaply. But the reward was worth the price! </p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-22001419029091819052020-10-10T16:02:00.002+02:002020-10-10T16:04:05.953+02:00choosing where to look at...<p>Yesterday I had the good fortune of having drinks (at my place, staying safe... plus, I have an amazing recipe for G&T!) with a lady I have know for many many years but we had not been really in touch for a long time. Yet, some time ago, right after my mother died, I made a weird post on Fb and she immediately texted me to ask if everything was alright. None other did... I mean from the outer circle of Fb friends, my close friends knew. So, this gesture of hers really moved me and I invited her with great pleasure for drinks and a chat.</p><p>And as I had thought it would be, it was a very pleasant evening! We talked for hours, drinking G&Ts and nibbling (I’m Greek... drinking without eating something is frowned upon... at least for my generation, I don’t know what the youngsters do these day... god, I sound so old!) and we had so much to tell to one another! The hours passed without noticing, really! Like myself, she has been through a lot these past couple of years but she’s strong and calm and she’s learning to take care of herself and... well, I feel she’s going to be just fine! So, as I was telling her some of my “adventures” of the last year, she said to me “goodness... you went through that and you tell me about it with a smile!”... and then it hit me: of course!! Of course I’m telling the story of the sh*t I’ve been through with a smile! Because I’m still here to tell the story!! </p><p>You see, we can choose where to look at but some times we are so tired from... well... life itself, that we forget we can. We can choose to look at the sh*t that has happened to us and let the memory of it put us down once again or we can choose to look at the fact we are still standing, we are still here and we have friendly ears that are willing to listen to our stories. And if we choose the latter, we do have every reason to smile! “Yes, friend, my life has been pretty much a wreck for quite some time but I’m still here and able to tell the story and you are here listening to my story so, yes, I’m smiling from ear to ear!” It is a choice. Make the choice to look at the (one?..) thing that puts a smile on your face, not the thing(s) that break your heart even remembering them. Now, isn’t that “better than shoes”?...</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-30590697807086248252020-09-26T23:06:00.001+02:002020-09-26T23:06:30.572+02:00knowing the size of your shadow<p>So, I have been watching this series on Netflix, “bloodline”, which is not half bad by the way, and it got me thinking...</p><p>It’s about this big, seemingly perfect, rich-ish family, which is deeply dysfunctional in a (literally) criminal way. And there’s this brother, the second oldest one, who’s supposedly the good boy, the reliable husband and father, the considerate and obedient son, the embodiment of trustworthiness and decency and honour and whatnot. And he takes upon him all the troubles his siblings face or create, all the worries and guilt of his mom, all the bad deeds of his dad, the responsibilities of his own family and job (and he works for the sheriff’s office) and basically the guy carries the weight of the world on his shoulders! Until... nah, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers!</p><p>I kinda identify with that behaviour... I used to carry the weight of the world... I used to be the one grabbing every responsibility would come my way, no matter whose it really was, and make it my own... I used to think that all the problems of my dysfunctional family were mine to solve... and I suffered for years from this behaviour! Because, evidently, I could neither control nor solve everything! And as I was watching the hero in the series doing the same thing, I realised why he does it (and I guess why I did it too...): he does it because he thinks he casts a shadow much bigger than he actually does! And that all the mishaps of his family are within this huge shadow that he casts and therefore his to bear! He thinks that everyone else is in his shadow! And therefore he must help/protect/untangle them even though they are all fully grown adults! And they act pretty stupidly, might I add!</p><p>Well... I don’t do this anymore. I stopped some years back. I guess therapy has helped. Maybe the hero of the series would benefit from it too... Now I know exactly how big a shadow I cast and I can tell you that it is as small as if I’m standing right underneath the sun at midday! No one else exists within my shadow! Yes! Realising my insignificance has freed me from the burdens I was carrying most of my life! I’m not that important! I’m not a giant! I’m tiny! I’m an ant! I’m not responsible for everyone... in fact I’m only responsible for me (and Lucifer, as of late). So, I guess knowing the size of our shadow is important, “better than shoes” even, since it is perhaps the only way we can stop thinking others are within our shadow and stop carrying everyone else’s problems... me thinks...</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-49637416618380146862020-09-20T19:17:00.000+02:002020-09-20T19:18:03.463+02:00a weekend with friends<p> I’ve had a marvellous long weekend! A “better than shoes” weekend! A weekend with friends!</p><p>No, obviously I did not travel, my traveling days are long gone and I don’t even know when I will get back on a plane and out of here... like most of us, I stay put, I stay safe and I protect my fellow humans any way I can during these unprecedented times. But, I decided mid-week to take Friday off, just because I needed a break and the weather was going to be nice and... well, because thank goodness I could! I slept till late and did nothing except going to the supermarket around noon, then had lunch and took a nap and then I ordered some sushi (ok... lots of sushi!) and my darling friends S and K came over for dinner and G&Ts. It was lovely! I enjoyed as always our conversation, how relaxed I’m with them because, really, they are family! Lucifer loves his “uncles” and he’s very sociable and he did not even jump on the table! That well behaved! So, all in all, a great Friday! </p><p>Then I had a “sweatpants’ day” on Saturday, did some laundry and watched Netflix (“Ratched”, very good by the way) with Lucifer, which is always a good plan for the weekend. And with awesome company, too! Luci was a true angel all day! </p><p>And today my dear friend E came over for a proper Sunday lunch, something I hadn’t done in a very long time! I had not seen her in ages and she had not yet met Lucifer and we had so much to talk about! Which we did while eating chicken stew with rice cooked in the sauce (it turned out delicious, I was really proud of myself... plus, there are leftovers 😉). And then we had our coffee and tea and played with Lucifer! Wonderful! A sunny Sunday afternoon with a good friend, a long chat and once again a relaxed atmosphere! And now I’m chilling on the sofa, writing this, while my darling cat is taking a nap by my side. Sweeeeeet! </p><p>So, overall, as I said, a marvellous weekend with friends, at home, safe but also so enjoyable! It is possible! I know that we are all exhausted from the social distancing and the restrictions and the fear and the isolation but we have to keep trying, we must protect the most fragile ones amongst us and, at the same time, we must “feed” our souls with some pleasant moments so that we recharge our batteries and can keep going for as long as we must. Let’s hope not for long, of course...</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-217668334416184388.post-14367055552884256392020-09-14T22:31:00.002+02:002020-09-15T07:53:59.341+02:00ode to Lucifer<p>I know what you must be thinking... that I have turned into a crazy cat lady and from now on I will only be writing about my cat because, let’s face is, he’s what definitively is “better than shoes” in my life. Well... if you are thinking that, keep reading this blog and I hope I can prove you wrong. Not because I will not turn into a crazy cat lady, I guess that ship has already sailed, but because I do believe in my heart that “better than shoes” stuff are going to keep coming in my life and I will be able to see them and appreciate them and share them with you 😊</p><p>However, since this has been a year of slim pickings when it comes to positive experiences (yeah... there’s no point denying that...) and I have promised since I started this blog to only write about the good things, “bear with me” for the time being as I share with you the one truly amazing thing I have in my life right now: Lucifer’s love! (...as I write this, he runs like crazy out my bedroom to the living room, just to remind me that, yeah, he is a kitten and he has his moments of madness...)</p><p>How do I know he loves me, you may ask... well, I do! Because he shows me!</p><p>He shows me he loves me every chance he has! He shows me he loves me when he purrs just by sitting next to me on the sofa while we watch “RuPaul’s Drag Race”. He shows me when he follows me around the house, very interested at every little, mundane thing I do. He shows me when he falls asleep on my desk while I work in the morning because he just wants to be close to me. He shows me every single night when he sleeps next to my head and licks my nose when I wake up in the morning, patiently waiting for me to open my eyes even if he’s hungry. He shows me when I hold him in my arms like a baby and he caresses my face with his paw. He shows me when he slowly blinks at me (these are “cat kisses”, did you know?). He shows me when he trusts me enough to let me touch his forehead with my forehead. He shows me when he brings his little plastic mouse to me as a gift. He shows me when he waits by the door for me to come back when I go to the supermarket. He shows me he loves me when he feels I’m not well and he pokes me to see if I’m ok like yesterday when I had a sudden drop of blood pressure and I had to lie down... or when I was crying the night my mom died and he put his paw on my shoulder, like an old friend comforting me, although he knew me for less than a month... </p><p>He shows me he loves me. He does not say it but then again... words are just words and I’ve heard my share of fake “I love you”s in my life... Lucifer, he shows me he loves me in his own way and it is crystal clear. And “better than shoes”.</p><p>Ps. He just came back and settled on the nightstand... he will fall asleep there and, in a while, still half asleep, he will move next to my pillow... night-night...</p>Ninahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15413486108262783664noreply@blogger.com0