walking away...

It's raining... and I am at a point in my life where I find it very difficult to focus on positive things... I'm sure you all know the feeling, nobody can be a cheerleader all the time... But I figured this is the exact moment when I need to try even harder to remain optimistic... stupid? perhaps... but I will try anyway... and in today's post I will defend the view that knowing when to walk away is better than shoes... see if I manage to convince you...

We all have needs and it is our duty and responsibility to try and have them met... no, we should not settle for less, we should protect ourselves and make it clear when we want something, out of someone, a relationship, out of ourselves, out of a job, out of life... we should try and find out what it is and go after it even if we are afraid and insecure... we should ask because very often this is the only way to receive... we should be ready to fight for our right to happiness! But at the same time we should be able to see a hopeless situation, we should know how to pick our battles... no, not every one is winnable... and the casualties..., oh, the casualties are so very often pieces of our souls...

We should claim our space, we should open the cards on the table and let the people in our life know who we are, how we feel and what we want. They do have the right to know! But when that which we receive in return is not good enough,  then it is our task to walk away... other people will only give what they can, nothing more... no point in keep asking for more... if it's not what we want, we should seek it otherwise... don't lower the standard, just find a person who fits it! ... Chances are that there is at least one person out there willing, and happy, to give us what we need and more than happy to receive what we have to give to them! Isn't this a chance worth taking? ;)

about support...

No, though I would never doubt the importance of good support when it comes to shoes, essential when we are talking about high heels more than anything, I am not referring to those in this blog post... No, this time I want to talk about the importance of a circle of support amongst friends living abroad which is, surely, better than shoes!

Living in a foreign country is hard... purely and simply hard! No matter how much money you make, no matter how much comfort and security a good salary can give you, and, remember, not everyone grabs one of those anyway, the fact remains: when sick, when troubled, when lonely, the difficulty multiplies by at least one hundred when you find yourself in a foreign land! And those of you who are away from home know exactly what I mean! Moreover, those of you who live in this part of the world know that the NL presents you with an additional bonus of...well, how can I say it... a charming mentality of "I could not give a fuck if you are in need of anything because basically it is not my problem"! Yes, yes, you all can object to that but after almost 11 years here I have the right to my opinion (and many reasons to support it)!

So what we, the expats, are left with is the circle of support! Being there for each other, sharing the knowledge of a good doctor, a good shop to buy bread, sharing thoughts and fears and problems over a cup of coffee or a plate of home cooked pasta and a glass of wine, sharing insecurities, loneliness, homesickness, and very often as well happiness and good news! The point is that being alone in one's home country is nothing compared to being alone thousands of kilometres away from it! And the solution to that is the circle of support! The group of friends! Picking up the phone and asking for help! Offering it to the next person when they need it! That's what works :) and better than shoes!

PS. For V... remember, you are not alone ;)