Friday 29 July 2011

some words...

...are better than shoes!!

I found myself thinking of words today... not so much in the sense of putting hem together to form a sentence and make a point, no... just words... how beautiful and powerful they can be, how much emotion can they carry, how much of our history lies within them... how marvellous to be able to express so much of one's self with only a handful of letters... I have my favourite words in all the languages that I manage to more or less speak... but I will not write about my personal favourites, I want to mention two words that I feel carry the essence of a whole nation, the nation which came up with them...

One is from my home... my mother tongue, my people... and it is, they say and... I tend to agree, the most untranslatable word ever... it is filotimo... and it does describe us in more ways than I can think of... it is "pride, dignity, courage, duty, sacrifice -even one's life- and above all demands respect and a deep personal freedom". With all our flaws, it is always part of us... hidden sometimes, asleep, covered under the vices, but the virtue is there... waiting for the right moment to shine... Greek? most definitely!

The other is from my second home... the land which took me in its arms and the people who showed me so much love they were destined to become my second family... and it is saudade... the longing, the yearning, the love and passion which run so deep it's almost impossible even to express... the unbreakable bond, the melancholic smile, the certainty of the feeling even when it's not spoken... does it describe the Portuguese? ohhh, it most certainly does!

Two words, two nations... my beloved ones... and those words, which say so much in so few letters, so strong, so pretty, like the people who speak them... better than shoes? Without any doubt!

 

Friday 15 July 2011

thoughts after the rain...

... they say that there is always a rainbow. I do not agree because I don't see it, not always... and if I don't see it I don't believe it (with few exceptions). What I believe is that, after yesterdays unimaginable storm, today the sun shines. And it is comforting, though not so much warming. Surely, for the last three days, while the rain was pouring from the sky, as if we had all transported ourselves magically into a huge shower cabin, I was not thinking of the "after"... I was just miserable and angry. So, now, I'm thinking, what is this formula to make me think of the sun precisely while the rain is falling on my head? Precisely when I need this image the most? Because, that, would be better than shoes!

It is true that we should live in the "now", not the past and not the future, that we should enjoy the present moment. But what about when the moment is bad? What is this trick to help us overcome it? What is this way of managing to see that the glass will be eventually full when it is empty? What is this approach which carries us through the difficult times, the times of rain and grey, to the next ones, to the sunny and bright one? Optimism? Well, I always believed that I am an optimist but still sometimes I get lost in the bad, in the gloomy weathers, both literal and figurative, and I get despaired... Is there another way?

I suspect it's patience... hmmm... I don't do patience... I never did... I do appreciate it in other people but it is not one of my virtues. No, wait a second, correction: I do have patience for people, I can try to understand them, see their view point, explain to them, help them. But not situations. When I don't like something I want to change it and when I can't change it I suffer... like with the weather... hmmm could it be then that patience is better than shoes?! Anyone to help me out here?...

Monday 11 July 2011

walkin'... by myself...

... Ah, the legendary Gary Moore!! The memories his songs bring back to me... student years, high school, he had something for my happy moments and he sure did have something for my blues... And every time I put on my walking shoes (yeah, yeah, I got a new, hi-tech pair, after having read dozens of reviews, did it the right way :) and go out in the sun to burn all those chocolate calories, I keep hearing him in my head... "walkin'... by myself..."

This summer I have no complaints from the dutch weather... true, there have been some slip-ups, stormy-dark-cold-wet days, but just a few really. And so far I have been enjoying the good weather by walking out a lot... and, yes, this does give me the illusion that I can go on eating that damn good "Ben&Jerry's" strawberry cheesecake ice cream without gaining weight... key word: illusion... But ok, bad it is by no means, walking for a couple of hours a couple of times a week, that is... But it's not all about burning the ice cream calories... it is mostly about clearing my head! After work, where I constantly fry my brain, I need those moments of solitude, on the road, music in my ears, sunshine on my face and nothing to think about...

Yes, it is a great pleasure! One better than shoes! Those of you who run or walk will know what I mean, the precious feeling of being alone with the road, the wonderful tiredness afterwards, sometimes even the pain (need I really talk about it again? :) Totally worth it! So, I should get going not to miss the sunshine! Perhaps I will be seeing you around...

Wednesday 6 July 2011

the bright side!

Well, here I am, lying on the sofa with an ice pack on my right shin, foot high up on a couple of pillows, following the golden rule of r.i.c.e (rest, ice, compression, elevation.... ok, technically, I have not compressed it... but you get the point...) and watching "My best friend's wedding" on TV... kind of pathetic... I know... as I knew I walked a lot yesterday... I knew also for quite a while that I need to buy new sneakers, I mean, for someone who spends such a high percentage of my salary on shoes, I have no excuse walking around in my 8-year-old, worn out trainers which do not support my feet anymore...

But, in spite of all the knowledge, I did walk a lot, I did admittedly have immense fun doing so, I did it in my wrecked sneakers and I do now have what apparently is called "shin soreness"... And it is a challenge to actually locate the bright side of the situation and share it with you... arguing on top of it that looking at it is better than shoes...

Hmmm... let's see... well, I will have to go shoe-shopping... which is good... and I did manage not to give up and run all the errands after work  though my foot hurt as f*** and walking, and driving, was an ordeal... So, yeah, that's it! That's the bright side! Mind over matter, will over pain! Surely there is nothing seriously wrong with me, I only need to rest a bit and use all the ice I had in my freezer, but it does feel damn good to find out I am a strong, exercising woman, dealing with injuries in  mature way and not such a cry-baby after all! And that's better than shoes! Yeah! Go me! ...literally, got to go take of the ice pack now... ;)

Tuesday 5 July 2011

maturity...

...is a weird thing! As such, hence, it is not better than shoes... being weird and all... but, there is thing that comes with maturity which I think is marvelous! And that is the knowledge of how little control we have over almost everything in life and the power to still survive knowing it! Like, learning to keep our balance over trouble water, if you like...

When I was younger, so much younger than today (in the words of the legendary Beatles) I had these big ideas about control... I used to think that if I told people how I wanted to be treated, as a reward to my honesty they would just do it! That I would make their life easier by explaining what I wanted... I thought that I could control my life, where the wind blows me, what I do in every situation... Ah, youth... I could not have been further from the truth... which came to me along with the wrinkles around my eyes and the effects of gravity in my body...

The truth, dear readers, is that we have minimum or not at all control over practically everything, limited to what we say or do only, and that other people will just do what they can, say what the want and, well, basically that's it! Plans are made to be cancelled, statements are made to be taken back, commitments are to be broken and even if we never do any of these hideous things, others will! Because that's the best they can do! There is no point in judgement, it's human nature! And the only thing that can prepare us for when things go belly up is to expect it! Accept the probability of being let down, realize the fact that we have to learn to cope with the change, with the unexpected, with the uncontrolled! Ask, yes, in order to receive but do not think there is a rule which says that if you ask you will receive!

The only rules we can (more or less...) assure to be kept are the ones we impose to ourselves, in my view these being the steps to our freedom, and as for the rest, well, whatever! Learn to cope with limited control, that's the secret :) be mature! now that is better than shoes...