Saturday, 4 July 2020

perseverance...

There’s a quote which I think is attributed to “Rocky” (but last week I watched it and was not there... eh... there’s another, what, 5? 6 films?...) that goes “it doesn’t matter how hard you can hit, what matters is how hard you can get hit and still keep moving forward”... I like this quote. I also like “Rocky”.

In the last three years of my life, I have been cheated upon and lost my partner, family and friends that I had for more than a decade. In the process, I haven been disrespected and shamelessly lied upon, I have been pushed over my limit so much so that I almost lost myself, I have been gaslighted to think it was all my fault and, on top of that, I have been asked to just accept my ex’s “polyamory” as the new norm. I respectfully (to myself) declined. And then I had to live with “them” shacked up over my head on top of seeing them everyday at work. 

At work, I have been bullied, pushed to “produce” at an unbearable pace, I have been discriminated against, constantly unappreciated and often undermined and I even had my work “checked” by an A-male, who had absolutely no authority to do so, merely because what I was saying was not accepted by another A-male. By the way, I was correct. Because or work stress, I have endured so much physical pain it almost drove me to suicide and I had a severe burnout, staying locked inside my house for months. And that was before the lockdown. Which came along with me catching “the bug”, so I was (yet again) sick and scared and alone. I have struggled with the news of my mother being diagnosed with cancer and not being able to even go see her due to the damn virus. I have been rejected by some people I thought were friends, even my own brother just because I did not praise him for the first time, I have seen dear friends suffer without being able to help them, I had a car accident, I had my dreams and hopes shattered in a million pieces again and again and I have hit my funny bone more times than I can remember!

But... I’m still here! I’m still moving forward! I have persevered! I have not given up! Exhausted? You bet your Louboutins I am, but I ain’t dead yet, bitches!! I can definitely take a punch, I know that now! And I know that perseverance is better than shoes! Better than any shoe! And that in the end it always gets rewarded because just the fact of having persevered is a great reward on its own! The bell just rang again for the n-th time, I’ve been hit more times than I can count but I’m still in the ring and I’m still standing! That’s something! And not merely standing, I’m once again seeing the bright side of things, I’m hopeful for the future and forever grateful for my amazing friends who stand by me through thick or thin! I even have a bunch of new projects in mind! See, the thing is... life is not easy for most of us and there will always be times we feel we just want to give it all up but... don’t! Just don’t! Persevere! Rise above the swamp, smile in the face of disaster and keep moving forward! In the end, it will all be well and if now things are not well, it’s not the end 😉