Friday 24 January 2020

speaking up...

...is better than shoes. Any day of the week.

I remembered the other day an incident from my childhood... I was 12 years old, year six of primary school, and for whatever reason we had a replacement teacher for a few days. He was young, much younger than our regular teacher who was also the school principal (and a pervert who put his dirty-old-man hairy hands all over us girls from year four to year six that he was our teacher... yeah... #metoo), and actually nice. But... one day, I don’t remember what he said but it was while we were having a conversation he and I, I exclaimed, rather indignant I might add, “what you are saying is unconstitutional and anti-democratic!”. Yep. Did I mention I was 12 at the time?...

I mean... I always had a big mouth... I was always very sensitive when it came to unfairness, abuse, violation of my rights, injustice... and I have not really changed, in spite of my mother’s pedagogical approach every time my reaction would be regarded from her as “talking back at her”... namely to beat the living lights out of me... No, I haven’t really changed... I still say exactly what is on my mind, I still argue my opinions, I still talk the talk (and walk the walk, if you are wondering...) and defend my rights and those of others who perhaps can’t... and yes, unsurprisingly, my big mouth has gotten me into trouble many a time and has put me in many a black list... but I have not regretted it! Not once! In fact, I have regretted not opening my mouth quite a few times!

We all, and especially we women, need to learn to be brave and speak up! We need to learn to defend ourselves, nobody else is going to do it for us. I mean, yes, I will (because I’m a modern day Robin Hood with much better shoes) but I cannot be there everywhere and for everyone! I would but I can’t! So you have to do it for yourselves! Speak up! Yes, it’s often scary, at least in the beginning, but you will get used to it! I promise you, you will get the hang of it, you will get good at it! Just... practice! And if it lands you in a black list (or two...), that’s ok too... only boring people are liked by everyone 😉

Wednesday 15 January 2020

my new sweater...

...is better than shoes! Better than Aquazzura’s “Tequila” pumps (google them... don’t expect everything from me, people!), we are not talking any shoes! It is better, because I made it!

After having knitted scarves for everyone I love in the last three months (yes!... for everyone I love and I’m blessed in loving quite a few people who are all kept warm and cosy now) I decided to take the next step. Of course, the idea had been simmering for some time; I had found and bought the perfect yarn, I had seen countless videos on YouTube for techniques I would be needing, I had turned the hanks of yarn to balls (yeah... that takes time too... but, it’s pleasant when you do it while watching TDS) and put them in pretty boxes... I was preparing! And then, I did it!

Yep! I actually knitted a whole sweater by myself! From start to finish! And it is gorgeous! The yarn is the softest merino wool from Peru, softer than cashmere, hand-dyed in the most magnificent shades of purple and aubergine and yellow and green and blue and pink and red, making it absolutely uniquely beautiful! Well... unique... duh! There is not a second one in the whole wide world! Literally, one of a kind! And it is mine and I made it! I don’t remember being so proud of myself  about anything in the last... oh... I don’t know... a very long time anyway! And I’m proud not just because I made it but because I saw it through! I set a goal (not my cup of tea...) to knit a sweater, and achieved it! I did not give up, I did not get scared (ok... truth be told, I did get scared when shaping the neckline but not enough to give up) and I finished it!

And... when I put it on for the first time... oh, the feeling of wearing such a beautiful piece of clothing totally created by me, was indescribable! It was definitely and absolutely better than shoes!!

Ps. So far, I have received only compliments from my besties who got pics of it... later today I’m wearing it in public 😉

Saturday 11 January 2020

RuPaul Charles...

Of course, I always knew who he was... I mean, “Love Shack” and “Don’t go breaking my heart”... I’m a kid of the ‘80s... (ok, yes, technically the ‘70s)... that smile and those dance moves were hard to forget once you’ve seen them! And, in my teen years, RuPaul made it so natural and so easy for me to accept that we don’t all fit in little boxes and that is ok for a man to put on a dress and a wig and perform... especially when the performance was so full of joy and made me wanna get up and sing and dance!

But... I never knew “who” he was. Not until bestie S told me to watch his “Drag Race”. I binge-watched all ten seasons non-stop! It was around Christmas 2018, at the end of a year when I had lost my partner and best friend, my family, my dignity, my self-esteem... a year that broke my heart in a thousand pieces... but, episode after episode, it was the queens who got me out of my misery! Who made me wanna pick myself up and move on! Not because listening to their stories, heartbreaking and tough and cruel life stories at times, made me think that I had it easy... no... it was because no matter what, they picked themselves up and moved on! Because they were strong, fierce, full of love for life, full of talent and wit and kindness and truth and always ready to support each other even when they were competing against one another!

And that’s what real women are like! Regardless of what a patriarchic society wants us believing, no, we are not against one another, we are together, we stand up for each other, we shine brightly and we fight tirelessly every day! Like me and my girlfriends! Like the girls in “Drag Race”! And yes, it did take RuPaul and his “Drag Race” and all the queens to teach me that and I will always be grateful! Because it literally changed my life! And, yes, he’s right that we are all in drag and it’s ok as long as we know it...

It took me another year to write this... a year of struggle, exhaustion, sickness, loneliness and hard lessons... a year when ever so often I would find myself feeling so low that only watching “Drag Race” would put a smile on my face... but, another year that I survived! I guess, a “thank you” is long overdue... So, thank you RuPaul Charles! For your truth and smile and generosity and wisdom and joy of life! And your dance moves! From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Needless to say, having you in my life (yes, I have you, you don’t know it but I do) has been better than the best pair of shoes I could ever possibly possess!