Wednesday 24 April 2019

show your feelings...

Trust me, it feels better than having just bought a pair of Valentino rockstuds!

I belong to a generation of women who were brought up to not show their feelings. When we were kids, we should never tell or even show the boy we liked that we liked them, it was supposed to be a secret we shared only with our most trusted (girl)friends. And when we disliked someone, we should never, ever tell them that, never show them how we felt, ever! We were supposed to be “ladies”, always have the moral high ground and maintain composure at all times otherwise we were to be labelled trashy, rude, uneducated... bitches... and this hard pill to swallow was sugarcoated by our “educators” with the assurance that “the best punishment is indifference” and the advise “don’t give them the satisfaction to know they got to you”...

Well, I’m almost 45 years old today and I call bullshit to all that! Bullshit! If you like someone, tell them! You sure want to be told you are liked, no? Do unto others as you want for yourself (or something... don’t remember the expression exactly... never mind). And when you deslike someone, also let them in on the news! Let them have it! In all my years of taking the path of keeping my resentment and my pain inside me and “punishing by ignoring”, I never got tangible proof that the jerk I was ignoring actually felt punished by my ignoring them! And I now am absolutely certain that they just went on having a lovely life where there was no cloud in their sky, no resentment towards them, no consequences suffered from their hurting me. Pretty cool for them, right?

Well, not anymore. This stops here. From now on in my private life (needless to say that other rules apply in my professional life...) when I meet someone I like, I offer them my brightest smile and say “hi” and ask them how they are and show them my joy that I run into them! And when I meet someone I deslike, I let them in my exact feelings of disgust/repulsion/disapproval and walk away. Simple rule to follow. And since I’m a person really fortunate to deslike very, very, very few people in my private life, those uncomfortable moments of sharing negative feelings, will be so very rare. But I will not shy away from them. I’ve always been very generous with my good feelings towards people so I should just start to be generous with the bad ones that I have for a handful of them too... and if I’m labelled a bitch, well, so be it! A label is only worth as much as the person labelling 😉





Sunday 14 April 2019

first kisses...

...are better than shoes.

A first kiss is like a portal that gives you a glimpse to another dimension... hmmm... interesting analogy... then again I have been watching the second season of “the OA” all day... anyway, I digress, yes, a dimension where you and the one you are kissing at that specific moment will be doing a lot more kissing... and in that moment, with that one kiss, you will know whether you want to find yourself in that dimension or not... if you do, that kiss becomes the first one of many (and will always be remembered and will put a smile on your face when remembered and will always be better than shoes)... if you don’t, end of story, the kiss remains in your memory as “a kiss” and probably will be soon forgotten... unless it was the worst kiss of your life or something... like, you were challenged to kiss a frog and he did not turn into a prince...

Yes, first kisses may be slightly awkward at times, clumsy, but still the above applies... in my life, I have always known from that first kiss, whether there was a future involving more kissing with that person or not... even when that first kiss was not the best one, compared with ones to follow, I always knew if I wanted my life to entwine with the life of the person kissing me... many years ago, just for once, I ignored that gut feeling... I ended up having the most lukewarm relationship of my life... and I never did it again! Since then, I always pay attention to what my gut tells me when I kiss someone for the first time... so that I know if it really will be “a first time of many”...

It’s been a bit since I had a “first kiss”... it was sweet, totally unexpected to me, slightly awkward and I reacted poorly to it because I was so overwhelmed when it actually happened, I could not believe it! You know, one of those “WTF” moments in life when that thing you have been imagining all along materialises and you find yourself unable to grasp it! But, my gut did tell me, at that surreal moment last summer, that I most definitely wanted more of that and I was right (and lucky...), it was followed by many more, and it did become the “first kiss” and it was for sure better than shoes! And I still smile when I remember it 😊

Ps. Life in its awesome wisdom, usually does not let us know which one is the “last kiss”... thank goodness for that 😉


Tuesday 9 April 2019

Sundays are for lounging...

...and it is better than shoes!

Boy, have I been crazy busy! I’m sure you have noticed the absence of reporting “better than shoes” stuff; it has not been due to lack of those, it has been due to lack of time to report them! About a month ago, and since just working on my day job was not challenging enough, I decide to make changes around the house. What was in the beginning just the decision to buy a new sofa and get rid of the old one and its bad energy, became a whole project involving also a new bookcase, an additional bookstand, painting walls, changing lamps, putting new pictures on the walls, creating an amazing light installation (yes, I have what looks like the starry sky in my bedroom now) which exhausted me but at the same time gave me immense joy!

It all went well, all is done the way I wanted and it was so worth the time, the effort and the expenses that I think it was the best decision I made in a long time! I come home now to a place that is totally me, totally welcoming, totally cosy and inviting and warm and beautiful! The sense of accomplishment alone is so fulfilling! Plus, I have a newfound respect for house painters, their job is hard! And the plan is to share my “new” pad with my loved ones, yes, invitations are already out, I’m open for business and ready to receive my darling ones and be hostess of the mostess!!

So, last Sunday, after everything was finished and for the first time having some time to rest over the weekend, I enjoyed one of those lounging days I haven’t had in a long time! Yes, a full day of lounging, eating, watching “Ru Paul’s Drag Race” (thank you Netflix for making available the first 5 seasons! I have been in heaven!) and napping on my new sofa! For years I have been apologising for falling asleep on the sofa, well, f@@k that! Now I have the perfect sofa for falling asleep on and I’m loving it! No more apologies, no more nap-shaming! Long live the sofa naps and Sunday lounging and dear friends coming over to enjoy my home! The sofa is so big, they can nap with me on it if they want 😉