I’ve been thinking about this “no strings attached” thingy in relationships...
When one goes by the rule of “no strings attached” in their relationships, not wanting any commitment and/or responsibilities and by making sure that everyone’s expectations are kept to the minimum (or there are no expectations at all from the relationship and from one another), well, basically they set the most rigid, the strictest of conditions in their relationships! The precondition to not have any attachment, ever, is indeed a very serious one, one that is very hard to abide by simply because of human nature!
What if “strings” naturally “attach” between two people? What if feelings develop? According to the rule, these need to be immediately cut! But that is not only unnatural, it’s also stupid! Why would we deny feelings, both good and bad?! We can’t, my darlings! Take it from me, I tried to deny the existence of feelings for the better part of my youth! It doesn’t work! We cannot cut “strings” no more than we can create them where they naturally don’t exist! The only strings that should exist between two people are the ones that naturally grow! When two people meet and they feel a first kind of attraction for one another, this may or may not develop to something more... this is the natural way, this is the only rule that should apply, to let what grows naturally, grow: if it is more feelings, just live it for goodness sake and if it is less, well, the relationship will dissolve gradually, naturally, and that’s that.
The “no strings attached” rule is just a way of expressing our fear of rejection, of heartache... we want to control the situation, make sure we will not get hurt by forming a bond with another human being, by having feelings for them that may be betrayed... But... as I heard in a wonderful theatre play I saw last year, “The Inheritance Part II” (yes, Vanessa Redgrave was amazing!!), “the only way to heal heartache, is to risk more...” So, yes, go out and risk heartache, unconditionally, form connections, go with the flow, fall in love! Let strings attach wherever they want to attach, if they want to, don’t be afraid to dive in and see where that gets you! It will be “better than shoes”, you’ll see 😉
When one goes by the rule of “no strings attached” in their relationships, not wanting any commitment and/or responsibilities and by making sure that everyone’s expectations are kept to the minimum (or there are no expectations at all from the relationship and from one another), well, basically they set the most rigid, the strictest of conditions in their relationships! The precondition to not have any attachment, ever, is indeed a very serious one, one that is very hard to abide by simply because of human nature!
What if “strings” naturally “attach” between two people? What if feelings develop? According to the rule, these need to be immediately cut! But that is not only unnatural, it’s also stupid! Why would we deny feelings, both good and bad?! We can’t, my darlings! Take it from me, I tried to deny the existence of feelings for the better part of my youth! It doesn’t work! We cannot cut “strings” no more than we can create them where they naturally don’t exist! The only strings that should exist between two people are the ones that naturally grow! When two people meet and they feel a first kind of attraction for one another, this may or may not develop to something more... this is the natural way, this is the only rule that should apply, to let what grows naturally, grow: if it is more feelings, just live it for goodness sake and if it is less, well, the relationship will dissolve gradually, naturally, and that’s that.
The “no strings attached” rule is just a way of expressing our fear of rejection, of heartache... we want to control the situation, make sure we will not get hurt by forming a bond with another human being, by having feelings for them that may be betrayed... But... as I heard in a wonderful theatre play I saw last year, “The Inheritance Part II” (yes, Vanessa Redgrave was amazing!!), “the only way to heal heartache, is to risk more...” So, yes, go out and risk heartache, unconditionally, form connections, go with the flow, fall in love! Let strings attach wherever they want to attach, if they want to, don’t be afraid to dive in and see where that gets you! It will be “better than shoes”, you’ll see 😉