chicken soup...

I’ve been sick as a dog for three days now... today, adding insult to injury, has been a glorious sunny day, a rare treat mid-winter, and I have been mopping around at home, in my pyjamas, from bed to sofa and vice-versa, sipping tea, cursing my stuffed nose and sneezing unstopably... a veeeeery sexy image indeed! I at my best... not!

But in the midst of all this misfortune, or, who am I kidding, real tragedy to say the least, the universe granted me a miracle last night: I found some chicken in the freezer! Hallelujah!! This meant that today I could have myself some chicken soup, the de facto panacea for all ailments, physical and emotional (and to be honest, my emotional health has not been tip top lately either...), the only thing that can cure, yes cure, the common cold! Better than shoes? You bet!

So, all sniffles, always in pyjamas and in a reasonably bad mood, I put on the stove, boiled the chicken in beaf stock (yep, this is my secret ingredient, you are very welcome... do not forget the allspice, a couple of those will do, don’t ask why, just do it...) and when the soup was ready, I prepared some fair trade, wholewheat noodles and added that in my bowl... mmmmm... sheer delight!! Pure magic! The first spoonful put a smile on my face!

Of course... I have no taste whatsoever.... or smell or hearing for that matter... but I could taste how wonderful my soup was from memory! Seriously! It’s either that or I’m hallucinating... hum, what can you do... and even if it is pure placebo effect, I have started to feel better already! Or... will very soon... gonna make myself some more tea...

a smile...

...can sometimes shine brighter than the sun! Can warm up your heart, can make you feel all fuzzy and twinkly inside, can stir desires you never knew existed or you suspected they existed but were afraid to acknowledge or were even trying to forget... a smile can be the absolute highlight of an otherwise grim, hectic, borderline panicky day... a smile can be your company for hours, days, weeks... it can chase the loneliness away, it can make the bad feelings disappear, it can light up the dark, it can be all and everything that you need to go on another day...

A smile... the kind that makes one’s face brighten up, that extends to the eyes that smile along with the mouth, that paints the most beautiful of pictures and that lets the joy of the encounter show without any shame, without holding back, without masking it... a sincere smile, an honest one... a smile that makes you reciprocate because you simply cannot but reciprocate, that holds your gaze captive and your mind hostage as you try to walk away but you sort of can’t... a smile that you might just glance for only the tiniest of moments but might feel like an eternity...

A smile can be better than the most gorgeous shoe ever made by man... I’m talking Manolo, here, people... a smile can be immeasurably better than his masterpieces!  Yes... a smile can be all that... if it’s the right person smiling at you... So, when you get such a gift, open it up and enjoy it as if you were a kid on Christmas Day! Just... stay in that moment, stop your brain from thinking and just feel! For everything else around it may be just stuck, may be complicated, may be painful and scary and confusing and troubled but the smile... the smile tells the truth and the truth is all that matters 😉

companionship...

...is better than shoes!

In the past year or so, my faith to relationships and companionship has been shaken... it is hard not to doubt the whole idea of being in a committed relationship when a union you thought was strong as steel, breaks down to pieces as if it were made of terracotta... and although in my heart I still believe that true intimacy may only exist when you know and trust the person sleeping next to you, when you love and care (in my mind, these are one and the same, when you love you care...), I doubt that this is written in the stars for me...

This week, my best male friend and adopted big brother for the last 17 years or so, celebrated his 20th anniversary with his partner... yes, exactly, 20 years! 20 years of love! And no, I’m not being a hopeless romantic here, no relationship that lasts this long is all roses and candles and voile curtains floating in the light breeze while soft jazz music plays in the background, all the time! Probably, since this sounded like a scene from a soft porn movie, not any of the time at all! But you have to look at the big picture here, the foundation! A relationship that willingly lasts this long (not talking about hostage situations...) must have a solid foundation! Love!

Yes, when you are together with someone for this long, there are bad days... there are days when you don’t wanna even see the other person’s face in the morning, when you get so pissed off at one another you think you will explode, when you get bored and you question the whole thing...  but then, there are days of natural bliss, calm, laughter, tenderness, sweetness, discovery and pure joy as well! And, when you still are together after so long, the simplest explanation is that the good days outnumber the bad ones, the joy outweighs the anger and love wins! Companionship wins! It wins because it is what we all need deep down and when we manage to find it, we should hold on to it! For as long as we still smile every time we listen to Jack Johnson sing “better together”...

Ps. Happy 20th anniversary S and K! ❤️