stop making excuses...

Any of you who have seen the film "Contact", are familiar with Occam's razor (and those who didn't, I'm sure have already clicked the link and know all about it ;)

I have spent about 5 years of my life making excuses... for my tolerance to a certain behaviour, for the "certain" behaviour itself (yes, ok, I'm talking about a certain person... there...), to the consequences of a certain behaviour... I grew to become an expert in analysing and explaining (I thought...) why they did the things they did, why they said the things they said, why they feel the way they feel... always trying to see what is "behind", never seeing what is "in front of" my eyes... Who the hell I thought I was??!! What the hell do I know??? Am I a psychiatrist?? No! I'm a surveying engineer! Who died and made me the expert on all things??! I am ashamed of myself... Love alone cannot give right to anyone to do what I did, to come up with a million excuses for things that were inexcusable (and unforgivable...)

There is no excuse for my tolerance, for my enabling other people to use me, to hurt me... I am to blame and I will have to live with myself and try to get over it. There is no excuse for them doing so either! And they will have to live with themselves... We all have been through rough times, most of us had a pretty difficult childhood also (and that is so much more than a cliché...) but, you know, at some point we got over it! We became better! We managed to let go of all the anger and the hatred and the regrets, to forget and even forgive... We learned to care about other peoples' feelings even if we do not fully understand ours. And most importantly, we managed to know the difference between the people who love us and those who betrayed us and not punish the former for what the latter did...

For those who did not manage to evolve this way, to grow up into being decent human beings, there is not excuse! The simplest explanation tends to be the right one, it is not that they couldn't, it is not that they did not have help, it is not even that they did not have the chance... usually it is just that they do not want to! That they like who they are, just as they are... Good for them... As for you all, the ones close to them, my advice is stop making excuses for them! And stop making excuses for yourselves for being there for them... try it, you will know it is better than shoes ;)

a day on the sofa...

... may be better than shoes!

I have had the worst three weeks... My personal life has been turned upside down, things have been crazy at work, I had to give a course even, I lost a tooth because of an old root canal having gone terribly wrong and I have not been able to eat properly in days... No, nothing better than shoes there...

But weekend came and I decided to just take a break! Literally, a break from everything! A break from feeling sad (depressed even...), a break from thinking, a break from running around like a maniac, a break from taking the usual morning shower, a break from dressing up and wearing shoes (though I did manage to get my hands on a pair of Isabel Marant Becketts last week, I did not want to put on even those ;) and putting make-up on, a break from going shopping and running errands and taking care of things and worrying about the removal... I needed a break! And that's exactly what I had!

I planted myself on the sofa soon after I woke up and Steven King with his 11.22.1963 kept me great company for most of the morning and the afternoon... I took a couple (yes, a couple) of naps, ate a Greek yogurt with honey, stretched, read some more, drank water... then watched a couple of episodes from "Up all night" (btw, I think that rating is a bit stingy...) and I did most of all that without leaving my sofa!

I know what you must be thinking.... "booooooring"! However, I give you my word of honor, I was not! I was great! I was just what I needed... ok, perhaps not exactly what I needed but, for lack of a better alternative, certainly what will help me cope... And I do appreciate it! Life sometimes becomes a battlefield whether we like it or not and taking a day off to regain strength is never a bad idea... Besides, I will miss this sofa when I move to the new house ;)

Ms Muriel...

... is better than shoes!!! Better than Jimmy Choo's classic pumps!

Ok, so you feel lost because you don't know who Ms Muriel is... apparently you have been wasting your time in Twitter!!! Though I should be mad at all of you, I will let go and just introduce you to this amazing lady, Ms Muriel B. I have been following her tweets for quite some time and I find her incredible! She is 94 years young, she is a quilting, baking and internet enthusiast and without knowing it, given her about 20000 followers, she has made a difference in my life with her words of wisdom.

I decided to dedicate this post to her as a kind of a belated birthday gift to her and also to say "thank you" for all the times that reading her 140 characters late at night, when I usually check my Twitter, she has kept me company, has comforted me, has made me laugh and has made me cry, has made me think, has made me feel...

I am in a... well, lets just say tough point in my life for more reasons than I want to admit and yes I will refrain from sharing any details because I have made a promise never to be whining in this blog... but amidst the -metaphorical- thunder, the other night I check my Twitter and there she is, birthday lady Ms Muriel, writing "What I know: Things usually get worse, but then they ALWAYS get better. Just hang in. It's hard, but worth it." And there, right there, right that moment I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders! And I smiled :)

Thank you Ms Muriel!

bola do Berlim... with a bit of sand...

I still have sand in my shoes, in the words of the mighty Dido, having come back only yesterday from a week in my beloved Algarve! And what a week it was! Though so much can be said for these 7 days, I will only focus on one thing today, perhaps the best thing of these holidays... a "bolinha" aka bola do Berlim .

This mouth watering delicacy is more or less a Berliner but... well, in its best version! Fried, tasty dough, filled with cream if you so wish and covered in sugar, freshly prepared a couple of hours earlier and sold on the beach by friendly salespeople, men and women, who walk from one side of the beach to the other, indeed under the hot sun, shouting "booooolinhas"! Believe you me, there aren't that many sounds you can hear at a Portuguese beach as inviting as that!

No, imagine that it is about 5 in the afternoon, you have been on the beach since, oh, lets say 11, have read your book, walked, sun bathed,  had a simple nice lunch, then enjoyed a siesta in the shade under the umbrella and then you wake up in the sound of the voices calling for bolinhas... so you wake up, buy a couple of those for just 1€ apiece and you eat it with some freshly squeezed orange juice... mmmmm... no, there are not many things better than that... a "better than shoes" experience without any doubt ;)