Monday, 25 January 2021

keeping it simple...

I was watching a series. Yeah, yeah, no surprises there... nowadays, except for my long walks, my whole life basically happens within the limits of my home and a big part of it on the sofa in front of the TV... lockdown is in effect with a curfew even... but ok, my life was not much different before, I always loved getting lost in the stories told by films and series and living imaginary lives! It relaxes me more than a book (most of my work is reading and usually it’s the last thing I want to do in my free time... unless I’m on holidays, then I devour books!).

Anyway, I was watching this series where the following happened: man met woman, a few witty interactions took place, a few warm smiles were exchanged and then the man asked the woman to go out to dinner, saying “I like you. You are a beautiful woman and I would love to get to know you.” Just like that. No muss, no fuss. Simple. And honest. What we see in someone, their appearance, is what attracts us initially and when it is accompanied by some witty comments and a good smile, that’s usually what it takes to like someone enough to want to get to know them. Evidently, it may or may not develop to something more but the beginning does not need to be more complicated than that! I thought it was an irresistible line and if I were approached this way by someone, I would certainly give it go!

Surely, such an approach can, and should, be followed by a woman too! No reason why not! I can see my self saying something like that. Maybe not 10-15 years ago but certainly today! The point is not who says it. The point is that it is said, when it is felt, simply, honestly, without any games and hidden agendas and manipulation techniques. No. “I like you. I would like to get to know you. And see where that takes us”. I think, when it comes to personal relationships, things should be kept simple. After all, what more is a “relationship“ than two people, going towards the same direction and deciding to walk together, hand in hand, because the journey will be much more pleasant in good company! When it’s in its first stages, you just want to know which way the other person is going and that’s why you want to get to know them. And who knows what happens afterwards. But, yeah, keeping it simple like that in the beginning I think is incredibly attractive, for sure “better than shoes”!

Ps. The series may or may not have been “The Mentalist” and the line may or may not have been delivered by Pedro Pascal... comments making fun of me and my celebrity crushes will not be sensored 😉 

Sunday, 17 January 2021

be a giver, not a taker

I heard this somewhere, recently, I don’t remember where... I’ve reached an age that my brain is very selective with the information it retains and lots of it always has to do with shoes so, the rest is limited.

It got me thinking... yes, of course... be a giver, not a taker! Ok, we are all givers and takers at some point, I guess, but what it means is, be a person who enjoys offering to their fellow human being, offering support, assistance, love, care, compassion, advise and even material help, instead of being someone who just sticks around people, like a vulture, to take whatever they have to give (even when it’s not for giving it away... you know... things can be taken by force...). What it means is, learn to share, be generous, not stingy... with stuff, but most importantly with emotions, with gestures... 

For starters, when you enjoy giving more than you enjoy taking, you depend only on yourself for your joy! You can feel it every time you give without having to wait, like a taker has, until someone comes around to take from! Takers need givers, I would think, whereas givers don’t need anyone! If nobody’s around, you can give to yourself! That’s right! You can say a good word and smile to yourself looking in a mirror! You are self sufficient, not a parasite... nobody likes parasites, only parasites themselves and even that’s debatable. So, points for independence! 

Also, when you enjoy giving you can feel joy more often because, in the world we live in, there are so many people who actually need help and reaching out to give to them will always keep your heart filled with the warm, fuzzy feeling of happiness! Plus, you know what they say... “when you can’t take it anymore, start giving!”. Yeah... One of the few things that are guaranteed in life, is that there will be moments when you feel you can’t take it anymore... that you have become the punching bag of the universe and life itself sucks and nothing is good... in those moments, when you are at your lowest, choose to help someone else in need... I can promise you, it will feel like opening a window and letting the light come back in your dark room! And when you feel depleted, like you have nothing else to give, precisely because you are the person you are, you will recharge your batteries easily, you are indeed the one to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and rise again with a smile on your face!

So, yes...  be a giver, not a taker, it’s “better than shoes”. But... make sure you know your limits. Because takers have none at all...

Ps. I hope the above makes sense... I’m writing it at 5 in the morning... Luci got hungry really early today and I’ve been watching “The Mentalist” until very late last night while he was sleeping next to me... 🥴

Saturday, 9 January 2021

a good day!

Yesterday, I had a good day! No, seriously, it is possible even during a lockdown due to a global pandemic, to have a good day! Kid you not!

We woke up around 5:15, as per our habit, Luci and I. We walked side by side down the corridor to the kitchen/living/dining room, an image that always makes me think of the Mandalorian walking next to Baby Yoda, and we had our breakfast: canned chicken breast in broth for Luci, half a brownie and an earl grey tea for me. Then, I went back to bed and my little furry guardian angel followed me a while later for our “morning love”... it’s when he lies next to me in bed and I caress him and kiss his head and he purrs happily and then he caresses me (yes, he actually caresses me with his paw!) and licks my nose until we both go back to sleep! Ahhhh... best part of my day!

Then, when I woke up (again) around 10am, as it was the last day of my, admittedly prolonged, end-of-the-year holiday, I decided to go for a walk. The sun had began to shine, it looked cold but I never mind that and the app reassured me it was not going to rain. So, I did. It was a lovely long walk! It cleared my head, as always, and allowed me to get lost in my happy thoughts, breathing the fresh air and giving my body a chance to stretch and move... perfect! I ended my walk making a detour and passing by the organic products’ supermarket to get some coriander hummus and baba ganoush and headed home, exhausted but full of joy!

Took a shower and had my lunch, next to Luci having his, enjoying a big bowl of shiitake and oyster mushroom soup, cooked with lots of thyme and served with a drizzle of truffle oil. Mmmm, delicious! And then I had a cup of ginger, lemon and honey tea and took my afternoon nap on the sofa, while watching “The Mentalist”, that I decided to watch again from the beginning because I had stopped it years ago and I wanted to see it through. Good series. It was Luci who woke me up about an hour later, jumping on the sofa next to me and meowing cheekily, asking for some more petting... I obliged of course! And the rest of the afternoon and evening passed in the same relaxed mode, watching quizzes on the BBC, browsing the web for new shoes, sipping more tea, texting with my friends.

A good day? Absolutely! Was it “better than shoes”? Yes! I decide, don’t I? Times are hard, my friends, life is complicated, weird s**t that we could never imaging are happening, so, yes, under the circumstances, a good day is better than shoes and may we all have many of those this year!