Sunday, 12 May 2019

take a chance...

...it might prove to be “better than shoes”!

I’m a control freak... no, I’m not proud of it, if anything it’s a damn burden usually! I try to stay in my comfort zone as much as possible and, when I cannot do that, I try my hardest to stretch  the comfort zone around my path... to foresee everything, to predict everything, to be prepared for everything ahead...

But... if I look back into my life, the best moments I had were those unforeseen ones! The best experiences were the unplanned ones, the best meals were the ones had by chance at a little restaurant I had not yelped beforehand, the best views were on detours, the best trips were the ones planned at the last minute, the best clothes I have are the ones I thought “oh, this is not me” when I bought them, the best kisses were the ones with people I thought “no way on earth this is ever happening”... yes... the best moments of my life were the result of chances taken! These rare moments in the life of a woman who is afraid to take a chance, were the best ones! And even when it turned out to be... well... not so good (yes, there was the occasional “oh, crap... I should have googled this place first...”) even then, it just made a funny story to tell afterwards!

So, from now on I vow to take more chances! To let go more often! To just wing in, to be present in the moment and enjoy what comes! I vow to be more spontaneous, more unpredictable, more free! And, if I may, I advise you to do the same! Take a chance! Take a chance with that dress you have been thinking about for months but feels “not you”, take a chance with that person you have been thinking about but were afraid to approach because they might say “no”... because, you know, they actually might just say “yes”!...Stop trying to think ahead... think now! Life has no guarantees and that’s the beauty of it! Things can go wrong but things can go right too! Choose to think they will go right and turn it into a self fulfilling prophesy! That’s surely worth a chance, no? 

Wednesday, 24 April 2019

show your feelings...

Trust me, it feels better than having just bought a pair of Valentino rockstuds!

I belong to a generation of women who were brought up to not show their feelings. When we were kids, we should never tell or even show the boy we liked that we liked them, it was supposed to be a secret we shared only with our most trusted (girl)friends. And when we disliked someone, we should never, ever tell them that, never show them how we felt, ever! We were supposed to be “ladies”, always have the moral high ground and maintain composure at all times otherwise we were to be labelled trashy, rude, uneducated... bitches... and this hard pill to swallow was sugarcoated by our “educators” with the assurance that “the best punishment is indifference” and the advise “don’t give them the satisfaction to know they got to you”...

Well, I’m almost 45 years old today and I call bullshit to all that! Bullshit! If you like someone, tell them! You sure want to be told you are liked, no? Do unto others as you want for yourself (or something... don’t remember the expression exactly... never mind). And when you deslike someone, also let them in on the news! Let them have it! In all my years of taking the path of keeping my resentment and my pain inside me and “punishing by ignoring”, I never got tangible proof that the jerk I was ignoring actually felt punished by my ignoring them! And I now am absolutely certain that they just went on having a lovely life where there was no cloud in their sky, no resentment towards them, no consequences suffered from their hurting me. Pretty cool for them, right?

Well, not anymore. This stops here. From now on in my private life (needless to say that other rules apply in my professional life...) when I meet someone I like, I offer them my brightest smile and say “hi” and ask them how they are and show them my joy that I run into them! And when I meet someone I deslike, I let them in my exact feelings of disgust/repulsion/disapproval and walk away. Simple rule to follow. And since I’m a person really fortunate to deslike very, very, very few people in my private life, those uncomfortable moments of sharing negative feelings, will be so very rare. But I will not shy away from them. I’ve always been very generous with my good feelings towards people so I should just start to be generous with the bad ones that I have for a handful of them too... and if I’m labelled a bitch, well, so be it! A label is only worth as much as the person labelling 😉





Sunday, 14 April 2019

first kisses...

...are better than shoes.

A first kiss is like a portal that gives you a glimpse to another dimension... hmmm... interesting analogy... then again I have been watching the second season of “the OA” all day... anyway, I digress, yes, a dimension where you and the one you are kissing at that specific moment will be doing a lot more kissing... and in that moment, with that one kiss, you will know whether you want to find yourself in that dimension or not... if you do, that kiss becomes the first one of many (and will always be remembered and will put a smile on your face when remembered and will always be better than shoes)... if you don’t, end of story, the kiss remains in your memory as “a kiss” and probably will be soon forgotten... unless it was the worst kiss of your life or something... like, you were challenged to kiss a frog and he did not turn into a prince...

Yes, first kisses may be slightly awkward at times, clumsy, but still the above applies... in my life, I have always known from that first kiss, whether there was a future involving more kissing with that person or not... even when that first kiss was not the best one, compared with ones to follow, I always knew if I wanted my life to entwine with the life of the person kissing me... many years ago, just for once, I ignored that gut feeling... I ended up having the most lukewarm relationship of my life... and I never did it again! Since then, I always pay attention to what my gut tells me when I kiss someone for the first time... so that I know if it really will be “a first time of many”...

It’s been a bit since I had a “first kiss”... it was sweet, totally unexpected to me, slightly awkward and I reacted poorly to it because I was so overwhelmed when it actually happened, I could not believe it! You know, one of those “WTF” moments in life when that thing you have been imagining all along materialises and you find yourself unable to grasp it! But, my gut did tell me, at that surreal moment last summer, that I most definitely wanted more of that and I was right (and lucky...), it was followed by many more, and it did become the “first kiss” and it was for sure better than shoes! And I still smile when I remember it 😊

Ps. Life in its awesome wisdom, usually does not let us know which one is the “last kiss”... thank goodness for that 😉