Tuesday, 14 August 2018

standing your ground...

...is better than shoes! (of course, while always wearing the appropriate pair of those ;)

This has been a trying year... instead of mopping around though, after the initial period of mourning which should not be avoided in my opinion (you cannot deny grief any more than you can deny joy...) I decided to pick myself up and move on... so I did that. I reconnected with old friends and made new ones, I consciously asked for help and got it, I laughed, I flirted, I enjoyed the summer sun, I travelled by myself to find myself  and I have more plans for more traveling... I have prevailed. I have looked chaos in the eye and I have said "bring it on, baby"!

And one of the things I have learned from it all is that knowing at every moment where you stand is very, very important! Know how you feel, know what you believe in, know what you want, be strong, stand your ground and let people know exactly what you think of them and their actions, even if they have absolutely no intention of listening... no, you cannot make people listen and usually they will not want to listen unless you have praises for them but at the end of the day, you cannot keep everything inside because people do not want to hear what you have to say... yes, it is wasted to them but it is important to not keep it to yourself... you keep things inside long enough, they fester and rot and make you sick...

So, speak up! Say what you think! Do not linger on your anger, let it out! Hold people responsible for hurting you, build your boundaries and protect yourself from invasions, don't be gaslighted and, most importantly, if you have to say "f@@k you" to someone, say it!

Because the thing is, if you actually have gotten to the point of needing to say "f@@k you", most probably you have some very, very good reasons! And even if they do not hear a thing, even if the bubble they are in has walls so thick that nothing penetrates, even so, stay on the outside and say it... for your own sanity... chances are you will feel better after having finally said it even if you know that they only saw your mouth move and no sound got to them... at least you heard it!

Thursday, 26 April 2018

Spending time with my niece...

Well, there is absolutely no pair of shoes in the world, the acquisition of which could possibly give me more joy than the 3 hours I spent today with my first born niece! Absolutely none! The maestro Manolo himself, even if he was designing a pair of his masterpieces just for me, could not possibly make me happier than I feel today after having spent the early evening hours with her! In one word, she is amazing!

As life has it, we don’t see each other very often... we live about 3000km apart and I have missed so many milestones in her life... my bad and no way to get that back. I did not really see her grow, but grown she has, into a wonderful young lady! At the age of 16 (ok, 16 minus 10 days) she is smart and funny and sensitive and kind and appreciative and a pleasure to talk to! She is both interested and interesting, she has views about our world, she wants to learn, she listens and she offers opinions, she has dreams, she has a great sense of humour and a loving heart! She is driven and a good student and she has friends she cares about and she has plans and she works hard and also knows how to have fun! And, she’s so, so pretty! Goodness, I’m so proud of her!

Of course I love her, I love her from the first time I saw her, a tiny little thing some 16 years ago! But now I can say in all certainty that I also like her! I like her a lot! I like the person she is becoming and I cannot wait to see more of her, to talk more with her, to enjoy seeing her becoming a woman! Oh, this world needs women like her, needs people like her, she gave me so much hope about the future! The kid is alright, really, and there are many like her and we will all be alright, the world will be alright!

I could never thank her enough for the joy she’s given me today but, hey, no reason not to try... so, thank you my sweet angel M! I love you and I like you lots!

Wednesday, 25 April 2018

A support network...

...is better than shoes! I mean, waaaaaay better!

Life has been overwhelming in the past few months... things I never expected would happen, have, in fact, happened and I have found myself in a dark, sad place... and, for some time, I wouldn’t talk to my friends... I wouldn’t talk to anyone...boy, that was dumb! But, hey, the superwoman in me thought that could handle things but, as expected, I was wrong... I almost lost myself...

And then, I opened up... I opened up to S, who is one of the less judgemental people I know, always ready to see both sides, to understand both sides while being on my side too, in the sense that he’s worrying about me... I opened up to M, with her somewhat unconventional views but who is always there to offer me a different, and much needed, perspective on things, a perspective I often miss... I opened up to S and E who opened up a big hug for me, ready to offer their smile and cookies and sunny disposition to take away my pain! And then I opened up to S, her vote of confidence and humor and kindness offered in abundance and so, so much appreciated! And I opened up to M, the little sister I wish I had, her sweet bright smile and understanding and loving words warmed up my heart!

And now, today, being back home, I was received by A and S, S and A, who took me in their arms, literally and metaforically and made me feel like not a day has passed since we last met (although it has been almost two years...), who listened to me and comforted me but, once again, without judging, without placing blames, without drama but with the perspective that intelligent, experienced and kind women have over life... full of love, so much love that filled up my craving heart... They offered me the oasis I so much needed after having wandered in the desert for so long...

My network of support, my friends,  have been there for me, once again, and it has been all I could have wished for! I would gladly trade all my shoes for them, they are all amazing!! And I will never be able to thank them enough but I will not stop saying it: thank you my sweet, lovely, great friends! Thank you!!