Monday 16 June 2014

concerning Mr Clarence Darrow...

I had a dream... not a big dream, I'm no Martin Luther King but merely a superficial shoe fan... Just a small, insignificant to every other human being dream, a dream which -if it were to come true- would only change my world forever and would leave everyone else on the planet at exactly the same place they were before... my dream was to see Mr. Kevin Spacey on stage before I die.

And my dream came true last Saturday night, when I found myself at The Old Vic Theatre in London clutching in my hand a ticket to see his Clarence Darrow. When the lights went down and I saw his figure silently taking his place on the stage, a tiny light from the cigarette he brought with him flickering (maybe the only man allowed to smoke indoors in the UK...), my eyes filled up with tears... I'm not a very emotional person... but this was just the beginning of what was going to be one of the most emotional experiences of my life...

It was an out-of-this-world performance... I don't think it is fair to say he was acting, nothing about those 90 minutes was fake. He was Clarence Darrow! The words were beautifully put together (the story of this man is extraordinary anyway) and the person on that stage spoke them right to my heart and I had this sense of being held captured by what was happening at that small stage right in front of me... I was overwhelmed!

I will never forget this. I will never forget this feeling of completeness through art. I will never forget the standing ovation afterwards, when about maybe 500 people were trying to say "thank you" and "bravo"... I hope we did indeed manage to say to him "thank you" and "bravo", I hope we did manage to give back to him, the lone actor on the stage, just a little bit of what he had given us for the past hour and a half...

Need I say it really?... There has not been a shoe manufactured yet that I could compare this experience with and come close... But even if, still, Mr. Spacey's performance would be better... ;)

Ps. I did in fact think at some point during the play that I can now die a happy woman... maybe that had something to do with the allergic reaction I got the next morning and the ambulance ride through London (bucket list: check)... but, all well when it ends well, I'm still here and (for whomever is listening up there) no, I'm not ready to go just yet... too many dreams unfulfilled  ;)

Wednesday 11 June 2014

my 30s...

...have been better than shoes!!!

As I look at the clock on my computer screen, 13 minutes left in the soon-to-be previous decade of my life, I'm thinking "has been a hell of ride"! No, not always good, not always easy, not always fair, not always happy... But always me! Always true to myself! A very clever man once, many years ago, told me that I should not follow other people's rules, I should make my own set of principles and live by them as they will be the steps leading to my freedom... I have done that... it has been an excellent piece of advise.

So here I am, almost 40 years old, not really wise, not really sure, not really complete but pretty damn close... It has been a decade of learning, loving, laughing with my heart (in fact I have been doing just that tonight as I have been watching standup comedy with my man... so laughter and love, two in one), crying, hurting, enjoying, traveling, getting angry, fighting, relaxing, kissing... a decade surely full of life!

And yes, I have a decade more of wrinkles on my face and my body starts to look and feel kinda weird and I do need a nap more often than I did (if that is even possible...) and I do not digest lactose well anymore and... oh, well, who cares?! I'm here! I made it! And I'm ready for another decade and another one and another one and I hope I'm not leaving this world before I'm at least 94 and I have appeared on TV (or whatever equivalent we'll have by then...) and have said everything that crosses my mind ;)

Happy 40th birthday to me!

Wednesday 4 June 2014

counting blessings...

No, just counting one's blessings is not better than shoes... But being able to do the count when sh*t comes one's way is! I will try to explain...

There are these moments when I feel joy coming over me like a wave, caressing me like the warm sunshine, comforting me like a hot shower after a hard workout and filling me up like a chilled caipirinha on a hot summer afternoon by the sea... And at those moments I spontaneously start the count... I'm (still) young, I'm healthy, I'm loved by a wonderful man whom I love back with all my heart, I have a job, I make a good living, my thighs look better this spring after another year of Pilates and my new Martin Margiela shoes are divine... I'm good!

But to be honest with you it is exactly at those moments that this count is the most useless thing ever! No, seriously! Because I am already happy then! I mean, I can always get happier (#greedy) but the truth is that it is as necessary as an umbrella when you have escaped the rain and already are inside the house! Whereas, if I were able to do the count when life sends a couple of missiles my way, oh, that would be sooooo good! It would be indeed better than shoes! If I could remember how lucky I am in so many ways when my mother plays yet another one of her classics on me, when work overwhelms me and stupidity surrounds me, when my head aches (again), then yes sir, it would help me so much!

But I cant. At least not always... But, oh, wouldn't it be lovely??