the pursuit of happiness...

I have believed for many years that happiness is not a "property", not a "long term state of being" like gender or profession... I never thought that anyone can be truly happy (or unhappy...) for a long time, for years, for a lifetime... nor that there are people, jobs, things that can transform our life to a happy one... My view, instead, has been that we all have happy moments! Sometimes more often, sometimes more rarely, sometimes we see them and we let ourselves enjoy and appreciate them, sometimes we don't even notice them, perhaps because we are expecting something else... perhaps because during those moments we are looking elsewhere, looking for "happiness"...

Like everyone, I have my ups and downs... some days the sun shines and some days the rain falls... But for as long as I can remember I have been making a conscious effort not to miss my happy moments (though, on the contrary, never complained for having missed a sad one!)... and, the funny thing is that the more I noticed the more they seamed to be! Whether it meant to give a smile and feel happy with a good film on TV, cooking  nice meal, being with friends, find a great bargain (surely one would feel happy with a 50% a classic pair of nude colour slingbacks, right ;) or just relaxing after a long walk on a Sunday afternoon, whether alone of with others, I have always tried to recognize and embrace my happy moments!

So here I am, watching "Annie" on TV (and, mind you, I don't even like musicals!!) with a glass of wine, still tired from the workout this morning, laundry all done, beautiful sunset outside my windows... all in all, a happy moment! Happy as can be! I choose not to think how I could be happier, it would be such a vain pursuit, but to realize how happy I feel right now! One does not need a lot to feel like this, it is a state of mind one can reach if only one wants... and it is better than shoes! I speak from experience ;)

some words...

...are better than shoes!!

I found myself thinking of words today... not so much in the sense of putting hem together to form a sentence and make a point, no... just words... how beautiful and powerful they can be, how much emotion can they carry, how much of our history lies within them... how marvellous to be able to express so much of one's self with only a handful of letters... I have my favourite words in all the languages that I manage to more or less speak... but I will not write about my personal favourites, I want to mention two words that I feel carry the essence of a whole nation, the nation which came up with them...

One is from my home... my mother tongue, my people... and it is, they say and... I tend to agree, the most untranslatable word ever... it is filotimo... and it does describe us in more ways than I can think of... it is "pride, dignity, courage, duty, sacrifice -even one's life- and above all demands respect and a deep personal freedom". With all our flaws, it is always part of us... hidden sometimes, asleep, covered under the vices, but the virtue is there... waiting for the right moment to shine... Greek? most definitely!

The other is from my second home... the land which took me in its arms and the people who showed me so much love they were destined to become my second family... and it is saudade... the longing, the yearning, the love and passion which run so deep it's almost impossible even to express... the unbreakable bond, the melancholic smile, the certainty of the feeling even when it's not spoken... does it describe the Portuguese? ohhh, it most certainly does!

Two words, two nations... my beloved ones... and those words, which say so much in so few letters, so strong, so pretty, like the people who speak them... better than shoes? Without any doubt!

 

thoughts after the rain...

... they say that there is always a rainbow. I do not agree because I don't see it, not always... and if I don't see it I don't believe it (with few exceptions). What I believe is that, after yesterdays unimaginable storm, today the sun shines. And it is comforting, though not so much warming. Surely, for the last three days, while the rain was pouring from the sky, as if we had all transported ourselves magically into a huge shower cabin, I was not thinking of the "after"... I was just miserable and angry. So, now, I'm thinking, what is this formula to make me think of the sun precisely while the rain is falling on my head? Precisely when I need this image the most? Because, that, would be better than shoes!

It is true that we should live in the "now", not the past and not the future, that we should enjoy the present moment. But what about when the moment is bad? What is this trick to help us overcome it? What is this way of managing to see that the glass will be eventually full when it is empty? What is this approach which carries us through the difficult times, the times of rain and grey, to the next ones, to the sunny and bright one? Optimism? Well, I always believed that I am an optimist but still sometimes I get lost in the bad, in the gloomy weathers, both literal and figurative, and I get despaired... Is there another way?

I suspect it's patience... hmmm... I don't do patience... I never did... I do appreciate it in other people but it is not one of my virtues. No, wait a second, correction: I do have patience for people, I can try to understand them, see their view point, explain to them, help them. But not situations. When I don't like something I want to change it and when I can't change it I suffer... like with the weather... hmmm could it be then that patience is better than shoes?! Anyone to help me out here?...