anticipation...

...may be better than shoes ;)

I am a person who has been cursed to suffer in anticipation many, many, really more times than I can count on... I start to think about the worse possible scenario, play it in my head in every bloody detail, stress, think even more about my stress and analyze the crap out of it until the actual moment when the event (whichever it may be) materializes and... everything blows off... because it has been so huge in my head it can only be smaller in reality...

But, on the other hand, I am a person who can take immense pleasure in anticipation as well (ok, there might be sexual innuendo in what I just wrote, scratch that out please, I don't even know exactly what it is much less mean it so forget about it... please...).

Where was I?... Right, enjoying anticipating things. Yes. I have been known to smile at least two days before my school field trips as a child as I would be so excited about them. And parties, later. And holidays. Holidays really the most as I (being the control freak I am) try to book them long in advance and then I spend weeks, months fantasizing about them and having such great time in the mere thought of how great it will be! Oh, I can be like a child in these things, not sleeping the night before my voyage due to my excitement (and the fear I will not hear the alarm clock as it happened when I was leaving for my first holiday alone, age 15, destination France... made it just... true story!)

So, yes, I my opinion anticipation of good things is a good thing on its own merit, a great thing, a "better than shoes" thing... it's being happy about the potential to be happy, it's the extension of happiness therefore... thoughts? ;)

better than any shoe...

... I have ever seen in my life, better than all the Manolos and all the Choos and all the red soled masterpieces and even better than Alaia's works of art (as most of them are so much more than just shoes), better than all that is "Derek"!!!

And if you are not yet familiar with Ricky Gervais' latest creation, you should be! I saw the season's finale today (and, sadly, it has been a very short season...) and I'm still smiling while the tears have not yet dried in my eyes... Never before have I seen, on TV mind you, something so profound and simple and true and sweet and moving and hopeful and unforgettable! For me, it has been like everything I ever hoped still exists in us, humans, everything good, personified in one TV character, one fictional person who is... nice!!! Really nice, without trying to be nice but just by simply choosing to be!

I'm not religious and I have tried to live my life following this very basic rule of "be nice". Derek follows the same rule, he IS nice. To everyone! Even to those who have hurt him. Especially to those... and what an example this sets, my goodness! He and his special smile spreading the word that we don't need any mass theory or religion or movement to teach us (or force us with the threat of a purgatory...) to be nice to each other, we just need to choose it! Simple as that!

I have enjoyed every minute of these six episodes of a series I thought was going to be very different... Well, ok, I did not know what to expect (though I have been following Gervais' work and I'm a fan... or because of that...) but surely I was not expecting such honesty of emotions, such depth of characters, such sensitivity for the elderly, such love for life and such kindness... I was though expecting great humour and also of that, "Derek" has plenty! But it's not because of that that I have come to love it, it's because of all the rest that it has to offer... That "he" has to offer ;)

See the series... You will know what I mean better than my poor words can describe... 

of snow and hope...

I struggled a lot with myself as to whether I should be writing this or not... mainly because I am not at all in the mood to praise anything or anyone right now but, quite the contrary, I wish I could just storm in a river of expletives about this terrible winter and the snow that falls again!! Again!!! Mid-March and we are still freezing our bottoms here, still wearing the heaviest coats and the warmest boots and the scarves and the hats and still, at this time of the year, we have not seen any flower growing, how could they, the moment their little heads came out of the dirt, they got covered in the white of their death...

Yep, not a good mood this one of mine... But then I thought "ok, let's try to turn this around"... hmmmm... Then I remember a Dutch colleague of mine who said to me a couple of days ago "the worse the winter, the better the summer" or something like that, you get my point.... So, if he is right, there is this hope, almost a promise, that we will get a marvellous summer this year, isn't there? And this, for sure, would be better than shoes! And it would also allow us to wear some of this year's gorgeous sandals, wouldn't it? Double the benefit!

I never thought I would be fed up with the snow, it was always such a rare treat in my childhood that I had come to idealise it. But now I'm really tired of it and I want it to stop, I want the winter to come to an end and I want to stop covering myself up in multiple layers (much like an onion...) every time I go out of the house... I feel miserable and my cold induced misery is only brightened by the hope of a bright, long, warm, sunny summer! In the absence of anything better to write about, and feeling all the more now the need to focus on the positive, I choose to make this my "better than shoes" subject this time: my hope for summer! Word of honour, just the thought of it puts a smile on my face ;)