admit it... you are scared... and it's ok :)

It's been a while since I last wrote a word... I have been somewhat under the weather... I will explain.

I have a torn meniscus... again... it has been 25 years since I had my left knee operated for similar reasons and, believe you me, it was by far the worst experience of my life! It is true what they say about childhood traumas, they are the hardest to get rid of and I am pretty sure I have not managed to get rid of mine... yep, still carry it with me... I would not be able to avoid whining if I were to start telling you about all the different ways that operation has affected my life... So I will stop here.

I will tell you however that I am scared s***less about having to undergo surgery in the right knee too now... yes, scared to the bone (does this expression actually exists??) and it is the first time in my life I am admitting it so openly! And to all of you! There, I said it: I'm scared! What a relief! Also for the first time in  my life I feel that... it actually is ok :) I mean, I know, fear is not one of the good feelings, unlike love and joy we usually don't welcome it, there is rarely a "goodness me man, I feel so scared, it's so cool!!" being phrased and nobody has sang in an major tune "I feel scared, I feel scared" while dancing smiling in the sunlight...

But, it's ok... It really is ok to be scared as long as you don't let it scare you off... It is better than shoes to admit fear and just... go on with life ;)
What I mean is that I will not let it stop me from going through the operation (luckily, I will not have a lot to do during...) and though I will not be embracing the fear for the next two weeks (ewww... cliché and silly... I don't embrace things I don't like...) I will just take it with me as I walk into that hospital and I will leave it there when I walk (or... roll) out of it.

Until then ;)

Ps. no, in case you were wondering, I will not be riding any cable carts this year, facing this one major fear is good for the next decade... ;)

Blogging is better than shoes!!!

When I started this blog, some 5 years ago, I never thought I would stick to it... I mean, I have had my share of drop-outs in my life and there was that gym membership I bought for a full year and then I only went once so I was secretly afraid that I would just give this up a few months down the road too... But I didn't! And I came to loving it so much! And it certainly isn't for the money it makes me -not a cent all this time- or the fame, I still remain mostly anonymous and I'm quite happy with this. No, this is not me cooking Julia Child's recipes and having thousands of hits everyday...

But what it is it's me sharing my life! Trying to focus on the positive things in my life and trying to make my small difference in this world by hopefully inspiring another person, yes, even if only one, perhaps helping another person or making them laugh or think or disagree with me or just keeping them company... It's not much but it is my little stone in helping build a more humane society and also my way of helping myself  from not becoming really depressed and bitter and disappointed of my life.

And every now and then I get a lovely comment here, some wishes, a thank you perhaps and it brightens my rainy days, it puts a smile on my face and it makes me feel I'm not alone, I'm not a lunatic blabbering about my oven or my trips or my thoughts... and for those moments I'm eternally grateful!! It's such a warm feeling I can not really describe... It's better than any red sole anyone could possibly own... Better than any pair of shoes, I guarantee you ;) 

back to work...

Please, do not dismiss it immediately... I mean, I know, going back to work after (long) holidays is not per se "better than shoes"... I know we all would very much like to still be on the sofa with a classic film on the TV (my favourite for these Xmas was "Singing in the rain"), good company, a nice big bowl of chocolates at hand's length and not a worry in the world, not even for those damn chocolates that will stay with me at least until Easter (yep, most of them in my thighs....)

I know that going back to work is difficult... but, since it is my first day back to work (and please, do not jump into conclusions that I have been spending it blogging... it is not entirely true...) I thought I try to see the bright side of it and share it with you. Well, for starters, I had to actually get dressed and put some make up on not to mention my spectacular new Jil Sander loafers with the fluo pink stripe that I got from Santa ;) It felt good to get off those sweatpants finally! And then, I got here, kisses and best wishes from all the colleagues who are also my friends (and silence from those who are just colleagues, which, come to think of it is gold...) and smiles and chats. And then breakfast, with my usual suspects, the best company one can have to star the day!

Then, after some work, lunch with my best Greek friend here, first time for 2013, fun, news, gossip, a bit of nagging... ah, this cosy feeling of a warm friendship that is like our favourite blanket, protecting and comforting and so loved! And plans for a coffee later with another good friend, who is also my fashion advisor (she is the one wo made me put a bit of colour in my wardrobe and I thank her for that) and between all that some more work, some urgent things, some administration but ok, no doubt I am keeping it light for the first day.

Now you may still disagree and think that the first day at work after the holidays, plainly sucks... Sorry to hear that, sorry to hear yours is (was) such a bummer but mine, today, is not half bad I tell'ya ;) So, if you are having a bad day, call a friend and have a coffee with them, chat a bit, you might find that your day is not a total disaster after all...