courage...

...is better than shoes... or, so they tell me...

The difference between courage and audacity, in my opinion, is that courage means doing tough stuff in full conciousness of how hard they are and what it entails doing them and why you do them; whereas audacity means doing stuff that (more often only others think...) they are tough to do but you are oblivious about their difficulty, no thinking about them, just do... Example: expatriation for me was simply an audacious move, I did not really think about it. But, going after what I really want in life knowing that I have to give up a lot in the process, now that is an act of courage...

Not very eloquent my explanation but I hope you got the message... And, as can be clearly seen from the examples above, though I have been full of audacity for as long as I can remember, surprising with my actions my best friends and myself sometimes, courage I lack...

The moment I start analysing the issues, the moment it becomes concious, well that is exactly the moment I loose my nerve... If I don't think about it, I might do it, but if I start thinking, well, that's that, chances are I will never find the courage to act... not even upon something I want with all my heart, not even when I'm absolutely sure I have to... the difficulties are magnified inside my mind, the negatives exaggerated, the fear overtakes me and I just chicken out..."So, why do you think about it then, why not just do it?!"  you would ask me and you would be right to say so from where you are standing...

But, from where I'm standing, things are no so easy... I have not managed, yet, to have control over my brain, it has a mind of its own and when it starts doing that stinking thinking part, I'm hopeless... analysis over analysis, lists of consequences, scenarios, images even, after a while the whole idea seems to be a horrible one and I give up... even if I know I shouldn't, even if I know I am harming myself that way, I just get too weak... So, when I say that I would gladly trade my beloved Louboutin Sixtizettes for a bit of courage, believe you me, I mean it...

dolce far niente...

... or "sweet doing nothing", however you prefer it said, the point is the same: it is better than shoes!!!

I spent the 4 days of holidays that came together with the catholic Easter doing exactly that: nothing! Though there was the occasional movement from bed to sofa to dinner table and vice versa, in reality all I did during these 4 days was demonstrate, actively (pun intended...), how good I am in being lazy! Oh, I'm goooooood! Perhaps my best quality yet, as was discovered this past weekend!

There had been a plan of light travelling... but due to northern Europe's inability to act spontaneously, which basically meant that had you not booked a hotel 6 months in advance you could not ever find a room available, inability to which we southern people have to comply with, I did not go anywhere... you may wonder why had I not booked in advance, question which has a simple answer: 'cause I didn't wanna! I just wanted to be able to get in the car, drive 'till tired, then be able to find a nice hotel with a spa and have relaxing massage and a good meal afterwards... dream on...

So, as the escape on my terms could not take place, I stayed here and planned to be lazy... Now, when it comes to lazy long weekends, the trick is to arrange for good company, preferably with the same taste in food and films and certainly with the same level of energy (close to zero...) to make sure that unnecessary discussions over "let's go some place do something" are definitely avoided... surely you don't want to go anywhere and do anything, right? Nah... neither do I... Then, make sure you have comfy bed and sofa... crucial! And good food (ok, this is worth the trouble of going shopping...) and a good supply of gin and tonic and last but not least, make sure the weather is s*** so that nothing lures you out of the house ;)

There! This is the recipe I followed! And believe you me, the end result was so good I think of repeating the endeavour the next long weekend available... if nothing else, I can always count on the s***y weather LOL

to seize the day...

... is better than shoes!

The spring came and went... Here in the lower lands the changing of the seasons follows an entirely different pattern then anywhere else in the world... Last week's spring is followed today by autumn... Do I like it? No. Can I change it? Also no. What's left? Enjoying it while it lasts! And I did! To the full! So that I will remember the spring of 2012 as the time when I had my coffee after lunch out in the sun (twice), I was out for a beer, for dinner, spend a day in Amsterdam chatting in the good weather, walked 12Km on a Sunday morning and then walked even more during lunch break in a park.

Not bad for just a week, right? Oh, yeah, I forgot, not only the changing of the seasons here is odd but also their duration... springtime was just a week... but a good week it was! And that is exactly what made me think "carpe diem"... remember "Dead poets society"? I do and I did even more lately. Life is indeed too short, spring (sometimes...) is even shorter and what's important is not to count the size of things (which only matters in some cases...), what's important is to take advantage of the good, to enjoy even if it is just a moment! That's what counts!

Making nice memories is an art, I think. We can train our memory to store only the good and just delete the bad and we can create ourselves more good data to be stored. We can. We only have to do it. It is to a very large extent in our power to fill up those folders in our minds with pleasant files. And yes, if life throws us lemons, we can make lemonade and we can choose to remember the fresh, tasty lemonade and not the lemon that hit us in the head! I did deviate, didn't I?... Oh well, the point is, keep seizing the days, keep enjoying the good moments and stop worrying about them being just moments. After all, life is just a series of moments, no? ;)